A Work In Progress

Bring your daughter to work day

2011-05-01T21:45:00.003-05:00

This past Thursday Lillian went to work with Daddy. The highlights included consuming cookies and her first Capri-Sun, "helping" dad on the computer and trying on the helicopters while dad loaded them up. According to eye witnesses there was plenty of fawning and oohing from Dads co-workers over the cuteness.

Our little aspiring pilot.

How to catch a bird

2011-04-15T09:20:00.018-05:00

Tuesday - Install shelving. Wednesday - Purchase bins.

Thursday - Wait for good weather, open screenless bedroom window, vacate house for two hours. Quickly close window before bird departures room. Enjoy as pet.

Sadly the window did not get closed in a timely manner. Thus we are without a newly acquired feathered friend. But on Friday...

Today - Clean up nest construction materials that were discovered while searching for socks. Socks that were recently deposited in their new and "clean" bin.

Lucky for us it doesn't appear to have been a woodpecker.

Daddy's Home!

2011-03-08T21:55:00.004-06:00

My little helper

2011-01-15T20:40:00.001-06:00

For the Grandma's and Grandpa's:

Nauvoo

2011-01-15T20:26:00.005-06:00

True to form this information is a little out dated. My sister and I took a weekend to visit Nauvoo, Illinois before she left again for Alaska. The day we arrived there was a beautiful sunset over the Mississippi River. The temple was breathtaking.

Women's Memorial Garden at the LDS Visitor's center.

Though it was just the day after Thanksgiving the visitors center was already decorated for Christmas. Since I don't have many pictures of it I guess you'll just have to take my word for. The wagon/carriage/oxen rides throughout historic Nauvoo leave from the Visitors Center. They are great and free!

Speaking of free so is everything else the church runs. From the brick yard to the Browning Gun shop, printing press, foundry, bakery and many of the historic homes. There are nice tours for each building given by the sweetest senior missionaries who really know their stuff. These same missionaries put on a great show every evening in the cultural hall. The child of mine even let me see most of it. I've seen it all 13 years before so it was fun showing my sister all the highlights. I'll refrain from spewing the plethora of pictures at you. There's so much history in this city and it's such a beautiful region. It was a real treat to visit.

We found this fun place to stay. A little village of restored cabins within Nauvoo. I think the owner carved this headboard on the bed.

Thanks again Lanisha. You're a real sport being willing to travel with a baby. It was a great trip!

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

2010-12-30T17:50:00.007-06:00

A wonderful family we have the privilege of knowing invited Lillian and me to look at some of Nashville's greatest Christmas decorations at the Opryland Hotel the day after Christmas. This grand hotel recently reopened after the floods in May. I was very excited about this opportunity. This family travels in their own bus! I was as excited, if not more, about the bus ride than the destination. Old Man Flake did a great job getting us there and back with such a beast to drive.

The bus is needed with this bunch. To date the family count is as follows:

Twelve children

Five child-in-laws

Four foster children, a recent and unexpected addition

Nine grandchildren (I think), with two more on the way

And then they invited the two of us! It was awesome. We all fit nicely. And I do mean all. Everyone was there! We were quite the parade going through the hotel ogling at the lights inside and out.

Thank you Flakes!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T21:29:00.004-06:00

Lillian received a book from her cousins today. She loves books. She'll bring them to me all day long. I've recently caught her flipping through her favorite jungle book while doing her lion roar. "Baaawwh!"

Lillian loves her new book. Though my voice is on vacation somewhere warm without me we read it six times in twenty minutes. How she heard me is a mystery.

The Parthenon

2010-12-24T10:35:00.004-06:00

As everyone else is appropriately blogging about Christmas I am trying to play a little catch up on recent events.

While my sister was visiting we patronized Nashville's own Parthenon. It's the world's only full size replica and has an interesting history in it's own right. Built to last only 6 months during the world fair in 1930 it was refurbished much later to stand in the glory that it is today.
The double brass doors on each side of the building are 24 ft tall 6 ft wide and a foot thick. They weigh 7.5 tons each! They were very impressive. I'm lamenting that none of my pictures show the scale of these beautiful doors that were made in 1930 in Long Island, New York.

The 42 ft Athena wasn't added till the 90's.

It's an impressive building surrounded by a beautiful park complete with reflection lake. It was a great November day for a picnic.

I hope anyone visiting the Nashville area gets a chance to see this wonderful structure and the art museum they've added on the main floor.

Guy Fawkes Day

2010-12-24T10:30:00.001-06:00

Who loves bonfires?

Ooh, me, me, pick me!

Really, who doesn't love bonfires?

They are warm and bright on a cold dark night. A gathering place for friends. A beautiful pit of crackling and popping in the midst of a quiet evening. They're great!

Thus Guy Fawkes Day is a great day to celebrate. Not only do you build a bonfire you get to build Guy Fawkes. Then BURN him! Mwaahaaha!

Here is my Guy Fawkes Fire. For those of you who are in-the-know this takes place on November 5th. Which shows what a slacker I am in updating our blog.

Here is one of the kindly firefighters putting out my fire. Party crashers! I've learned a valuable lesson in this. Invite all your neighbors to the celebration. That includes the ones that live through the woods, over the river (creek) and across the fields. Yes, invite them before they erroneously report a house on fire. Thanks guys. Love you too.

To my smug satisfaction it took "Clarksville's I-fight-fires-for-a-living" over 30 minutes to put my fire out. With my previously prepared and nearby water hose and my water that I pay for. Again thanks for that. During this 30 plus minutes of praise for a well built fire, apologies for ruining an obviously harmless event and watching my beautiful creation dwindle to smolder my concern for our surrounding community increased greatly. These so called fire fighting machines failed to scatter the logs (in my ample fire pit) to remove the hot spots. Which resulted in a nice little camp fire within a few hours.

We were able to scorch our Guy Fawkes after all.

RIP Guy. It's been fun. See you next year with a few more neighbors present and less flashing lights in the driveway.

A Terrific Athlete.

2010-12-21T13:12:00.003-06:00

No, not the Homestar Runner. And not me either. If I hadn't broken my camera doing something silly you would see me standing with Mr. Lance Armstrong. Instead you can see a picture of two very fuzzy people and my word that it's us. But it is. He and Robbin Williams stopped by our little patrol base the other day to say hello. They probably had a more organized agenda than that, but I don't know what it was. But it was neat to meet them and chat for a minute.

Posting a picture of a fuzzy man that I say is Lance Armstrong is my way of announcing to The Internet that I have officially started my pre-training training for the marathon I am running on April 30th in Nashville. Today I went to a spin class to ease in with some low impact endurance exercise. Low impact my butt. My heart nearly exploded! Our danish cycling instructor had us going up and down hills and pyramids and fighting pirates and all kinds of craziness. How all that was accomplished on stationary bikes is hard to explain. Like the photo, you just have to believe me: there were pirates. Tomorrow its going to be a 5 or 6 mile jog. Like I said, easing into it.

I'm following the Furman Institute of Running Science and Training program for my race prep- I know you're all dying to know that. Three run days a week, two or three days and week of low-impact cardio. I'll post how its going on Facebook so anyone who wants to can follow along with the agony and the ecstasy. It would be great if one of you readers out there took the plunge with me! Your not dead yet, but you aren't getting any younger either- Go for it!! The real training starts on January 8th, 16 weeks before race day.

Peace out.

We love Babies!

2010-12-19T09:15:00.013-06:00

Lillian's cousin count increased by TWO this month. One on each side of the family. They are both beautiful additions to their families.

Here is handsome Henry born earlier this month.

This angel is Charlotte. Who entered the world earlier this week.

Dave and I are excited for our siblings as they begin parenthood. We look forward to meeting these bundles of joy and introducing our baby/toddler to them.

My siblings recently discovered where babies come from. The baby button! Here's a link to this insightful event.

I'm Thirty!

2010-12-09T12:11:00.007-06:00

Wow, another year older. How about that! Three decades old.

Thanks to my family, friends and all well-wishers for the emails and letters and care packages. They are all very appreciated.

As some of you (few) readers may have heard from Dad, I had a crappy mission on my birthday and one of my patients died. I don't want anyone to be over-worried about me, I am doing fine. It is unfortunate but sometimes it happens. I have a lot of supportive friends here that I can talk about these kinds of things with- they're my fellow flight medics and they all know what it's like.

In this particular incident the patient what a middle-aged Afghan who was severely injured in some kind of vehicle-related accident. When I got to the aid station that he was being treated in, he was already doing very poorly. Things went downhill from there as we secured an I/O (like an IV that is drilled into the bone) sedated and paralyzed him, intubated him, performed chest decompressions, connected an assortment of machinery to him and moved him to the helicopter. On the flight back his heart stopped and my crew chief and I performed CPR and ran a full cardiac code on the patient until we reached the hospital about 20 minutes later. By that time there wasn't anything left to do and the attending doc called it.

A few days before that I had evac'ed a 6-year old boy that suffered a terrible fall and later died of his injuries. On Thanksgiving we picked up an 11-year old who suffered multiple gun-shot wounds he received accidentally (I assume) from American soldiers. Both later died in hospitals from their wounds. It is very sad.

It is not normal for me to have that many fatal casualties in such a short period. But, sometimes that is the way the dice rolls. Thankfully most of the patients we take are not so bad off and they can eventually be healed. We have flown over 3200 missions as a company in the last 10 months and have been able to do a lot of good for a lot of people. I don't feel sorry for myself because this is the job I wanted and I have enjoyed doing it. Also, this is what real life is like for the people who live here and other impoverished and difficult places. In the end, I get to go home and live wherever I wish and do whatever I want. These kind of experiences are bitter but brief and help me to really appreciate all the blessings I have like my family and country, and especially my faith in God and his plan.

On the other hand, I have had many very happy experiences this week as well. I have received a mountain of mail- including more peanut MandM's that I could eat in a year. I have had a lot of down time to relax and goof off at sites away from KAF and it's rules and high ranking officers. I became an uncle again. I (with permission) threw a pie in my battalion commanders face- not something that happens every day. So things are not all doom and gloom in the world of Dave Harrell. Things here are the way they normally are for everyone: fine with little bursts of really crappy and really great.

Also, I wanted to let my family and friends know that I really appreciate all the support and love- they keep me sane. And your prayers for me- I know they keep me safe.

Halloween

2010-12-07T08:47:00.006-06:00

Many Halloween parties were to be had while we were in Alaska. We love us some Halloween parties! There's a great costume shop near my parents home known to only a few. A lady has an extensive collection in her three car garage. No cars. Hardly any standing room either. We found a little duck costume for Lillian that served us well for the first party. This gave us (my mom) enough time to make her costume for the last party a week later. A party with a fabulous bon fire and fireworks!

Thank you to all my siblings who had wonderful parties and amazing food. Thank you to my mom for making the adorable panda costume. We had a great Halloween!

First Birthday

2010-12-05T07:15:00.001-06:00

Our baby is a year old! OK, actually she's closer to 14 months by now. But back in October when these pictures were taken she had her first birthday.

We were blessed to enjoy her birthday with family in Alaska. It was great! We celebrated a duo birthday bash and birthday breakfast with grandma Cathy. Who shares birthdays with baby dearest. Which is way fun. Then we shuffled over to my parents place for MORE birthday cupcakes, paper ripping and blowing out candles. What a fun day!

For lack of a better time, I am announcing baby's internet name here.

Lillian.

It might seem silly to give her an internet name now that's it been a year. It's also silly to keep referring to her as baby. She may not appreciate that name in the future. She may not appreciate us using her given name in this medium in the future as well. Thus we have Lillian. Sweet, fun, baby Lillian.

One of the Perks.

2010-12-03T12:06:00.003-06:00

This is Me on April 30th, 2011.

2010-12-01T08:52:00.003-06:00

Yay!

Today I registered for the Nashville Music City Marathon. You are all welcome to join me and watch the free entertainment. By that I mean the music and festivities, not me barfing. But hey, I don't judge. Whatever floats your boat.

Who loves to color?

2010-10-20T13:26:00.003-05:00

I drew this picture for all the little (and big) guys and girls that love coloring and also love awesomeness. Print and color. You are welcome.

One Smart Puppy

2010-10-09T12:59:00.005-05:00

My sweet wife teased me yesterday that my dog has a higher education than I do because he has graduated twice compared to my one. It was witty and playful and made my feelings feel like they were eaten by raptors.

"Clever girl!"
I love MS Paint.

Here is Sully with his other family, graduating from Intermediate Obedience Training. Sullys foster family is so awesome and wonderful and generous that they put him through the next level dog training at Petsmart. They are fantastic people. Congratuations Sully!

Time Wasters

2010-10-08T22:08:00.006-05:00

I enjoy wasting my time. It's like a hobby. However, I am less amused when other people waste my time. Like when this happened the other day. It's one hundred degrees and I was trying to take a nap. What the deuce.

Also. Look at my garden! Green things. GREEN THINGS!

Thank you Valli for the dirt. The rest I packed back from the states, including the light bulb. I can't believe it survived.

October Duds

2010-10-08T16:44:00.003-05:00

Nashville Zoo at Grassmere

2010-10-04T17:12:00.005-05:00

Judging last weeks comments there are not a few baby-picture-starved followers out there. I hope this is satisfactory in that respect. The temperature today was a popular 68 degrees. The happy Sun was shining while not scorching. Perfect Zoo weather.

Oh, by-the-way, we have a walking baby now. It all happened somewhere in the past two months. Became perfected while Dave was home. Not bad timing kid.

Rest and Recuperation

2010-09-27T07:37:00.006-05:00

We are still here! We are here and thriving in the Good ole South. We've been busy frolicking the last of our summer away while Dave was home for his r&r.

It was a wonderful two weeks. Filled with so many activities. Which included the following:

Devouring juicy Amish peaches

4 Wheeling across a 600 acre farm

Folding laundry, together

A weekend of camping

Washing the car, together

Rafting the Ocoee River, twice

Attending the temple

Watching baby perfect her mad walking skills

Fixing the lawnmower, together

Watching not a lick of TV

Patronizing Chattanooga's Aquarium

Snuggling with our daughter at 6am

Hanging out with friends

Cliff jumping

Brushing our teeth, together

Attempting horseback riding, there were some uncooperative horses

Sitting down at our dinner table, together

Discovering an Amish Pumpkin patch

Rural county fair ferris wheel rides while camping

Attending church, together

Touring a wonderful veterinary clinic

Dodging a spewing baby while touring clinic (Yeah, our baby)

Stuffing ourselves silly at our favorite sushi spot

Sigh. It was a great two weeks.

Aspiring Carpenters

2010-08-13T09:24:00.010-05:00

Dave and I have tried our hand at some woodworking recently.

Here is the tower of a bed that Dave made.There happened to be some excitement his first night sleeping on this skyscraper. As I understand it, Dave was jolted awake around 3am by a monstrous crash. A roommates bed frame failed and the poor guy fell to the floor. Mattress and all. Thankfully Dave's mad skills have kept him and his creation in the rafters so far.

I've got a couple wood projects going at the moment. The one that is functioning is a cover I built for our garbage cans. Even though the doors are not finished it keeps the rain off. This has made it possible for me to move our recycling bins out of our tiny shoebox of a house and retain a sliver of sanity. When I finish the doors I might update it here.

Hill Cumorah Pageant

2010-08-11T08:16:00.006-05:00

Finally I'm getting around to posting the good stuff. The whole reason we went to Palmyra, New York was to see the Hill Camorah Pageant. It was wonderful! The cast mingles with the crowd before the performance. They were all very friendly, fun to talk to and patient with camera happy travelers. Here are a few pictures of the costumes we saw. Some were amazing! The snarly guy is King Noah from The Book of Mormon.

Here are pictures from the performance. Not all of them are mine. Thus there are some good ones and some not-so-much good ones. Sitting a 27 miles from the stage was somewhat of a strain for my little camera. But considering the stage consists of 12 stages and takes up the side of a Godzilla hill we felt very much a part of the action.

The whole thing was great. The effects were impressive. With all the fire and explosions I can see why it's outside. Granted, there's historical reasons for being in that locale also. There was a monsoon that I'm convinced drenched the first couple rows of saps-who-saved-seats since Thanksgiving 2003. Waterfalls went from stage to stage, towers broke in pieces tumbled to the ground and exploded and the Savior descended from the Heavens. It was amazing! I highly recommend this to one and all. And it's FREE! Free parking, free performance, free shower (if you want to join the saps in the front row). You just have to get there in July. Happy travels.

We halted our mad attempt at setting land speed records on our drive home to stop in Kirtland, Ohio. This town is also significant in our church history. We toured the Kirtland Temple, dedicated in 1836. Baby enjoyed the freedom to move around. We both enjoyed the air conditioning and the little break it gave us from being on the road.

1,634.7 miles and 5 days later we arrived home. It was a grand adventure.

Lake Ontario

2010-07-23T12:39:00.006-05:00

After a restful night of sleeping off two days of driving we headed out to see the sights. The town of Palmyra is 15-20 miles from Lake Ontario. Being so close we couldn't pass up the opportunity to go check it out.

What we didn't do was get it IN the water. Which is the equivalent of going to the Louvre and not seeing the Mona Lisa. Or stopping at Grandpa's Cheese Barn and not tasting the smoked Gouda. All of which are tragedy's.

In our defense of not getting wet, the rocky shore was coated in a thick green slime. So I dangled baby's feet over the waters edge while my toes were mere inches away. We may not have entered the water but now my baby's feet can down in the books as having been "dangled".

We happened upon a good sized farmers market coming back from the lake. They had this adorable train, a pirate ship and extensive jungle gym. The train was the most age appropriate for our doll.

The Sacred Grove

2010-07-23T12:03:00.006-05:00

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints the Sacred Grove is special to us and part of our religious heritage. Baby and I had an opportunity to spend some time in the Grove. It is a beautiful and peaceful place. A great way to start the day.

Smith Farm

2010-07-22T18:08:00.011-05:00

The homes pictured below belonged to Joseph Smiths family in the early 1800's. We were able to take a free tour of these sites. At every turn Baby dearest had many admirers.

The log house was three rooms and housed 11 people. I can't figure out where they all fit! Let alone lived! This is a rebuild of the original log home.

Their frame home built after the log house was more spacious. This is the original building that their oldest son built for the family. The picture of the stone sink is white washed. Which is a major bummer for all of you since it was the coolest sink I've ever seen. Now I want to chisel my own for a mud room. When I say "chisel" I really mean electric dremel tool.

This is how they kept bees. Apiculture has come a long ways since then. Now if we could just train the bees to deliver the honey. "Here'z your clover honey, Ma'am. The orange blossom will be here in 4 weekz." "Thank you. Here's a blueberry bush for all your hard work."

The House that Dennis and Betsy built

2010-07-19T18:10:00.007-05:00

We so lucked out when we got to Palmyra. There is a fabulous couple, Dennis and Betsy, that rent rooms. Their beautifully self-renovated home is located in the heart of Palmyra.While they didn't build it initially they have pretty much rebuilt the entire thing in the past ten years. We swapped construction woes and triumphs in good ole Do-It-Yourselfer style. They had an extra hundred years of house on our Tennessee abode. So they win hands down!

They have done an amazing job on this house! Like us they have spent all their time and energy on the interior. I'm still woeful for not taking pictures of the recently finished guest bathroom. It was gorgeous! And perfect for removing all the road grime and sticky puffs from small fry.

Their rooms are so big with all the comforts of home. In fact that bed was more comfortable than my own. Squirt had ample room to cruise around and remove everything from any surface she could reach. Namely the box of food, I, as an intelligent mother left at her level. She was loving it all. Especially when the attention directed at her tripled.

Thank you Dennis and Betsy!

On the Road Again

2010-07-12T19:23:00.016-05:00

Baby and I are on an adventure. We pulled out of Clarksville at 5:45am two days ago only to return five minutes later for a forgotten item. Then it was the open road for us!

Highlights, Day 1:
Breakfast in the open near Cave City, KY with a nice breeze.
A cheerful suspension bridge welcoming us to Cincinnati.
Covering 448.3 miles by 3pm.
Recovering from an un-air conditioned car in the hotel pool.

The best part of all - an amazing traveling baby. She has done phenomenal! She sleeps the morning away. Wakes up for breakfast. Sleeps again allowing for some miles to pass away. Wakes for some play time. Then sits back in her car seat talking or singing along with her tone deaf mother.

Highlights, Day 2:
Pennsylvania rest stops. Yes, they are so great they make the highlight list. There are an abundance of beautiful shade trees, lovely picnic tables (under stated shade canopy), amble clean restrooms, friendly people willing to retrieve toys from under vehicles and this cool ambulance. Which will increase the neat-o factor of pretty much any place it rolls into.
Passing a Camry loaded to the gills with swords. Judging by the dragging bumper the trunk was also full of blades. Gave them a wide berth. Invisioning a wreck with them is ugly.
Rain to keep the temperature down.Baby dearest enjoying her travel toy box.Arriving at our destination of Palmyra, NY 852 miles and 33.5 hours later we feel pretty happy with our excursion thus far.

Notice anything missing in these photos?

It's the dog!

We are dog free for a whole week! Sigh... It's been a great couple days so far.

Our Beloved Soldier

2010-06-21T13:38:00.011-05:00

Since Dave is too modest to post this his proud wife will. A New York Times reporter spent some time with Dave and his crew a few weeks ago. Here is an article that shows some of the hard work and challenges Dave is facing everyday.

When Afghans Seek Medical Aid, Tough choice for U.S.

The 4th and 5th slides are also good pictures of Dave at work. If we're lucky Dave might expound/correct it for us. We love you, Dave!

Cinderelly

2010-06-17T16:14:00.010-05:00

Rogers and Hammersteins, Cinderella was in Nashville for one night last month. They had a phenomenal Broadway cast for this fundraising event. I was smitten with the performance so much that I came home and searched for the Julie Andrews version on DVD. It has since doubled in price while in my Amazon cart. Figures.

What I really want to share with all of you is this picture of pure darling!

While shuffling into the last minute venue (the Nashville Symphony's home was flooded) there were a number of people in costume. I will refer to them as the side walk cast. They were decked out in Disney's Cinderella attire. While deciding how to get a Cinderella photo op without looking juvenile I spotted this moment of precious. It was off the charts adorable.

Side-walk-cast, Prince Charming, sat in front of us during the performance. I wanted to reach out and pet his sash so many times. Thankfully I resisted that urge and avoided being escorted out in shame.

Not to be left out here is our bundle of adorable:

After sticking on the hat before church I quickly took pictures assuming this moment wouldn't last. I present to you the first baby that doesn't mind wearing a hat. Well, the first baby I know of. She left that hat on all day. 4.5 hours to be exact. I was shocked! And delighted. She was adorable in every aspect. She has started dancing in the pew during sacrament meeting. It's slightly distracting yet still adorable

Hundred year flood part 2

2010-05-15T17:18:00.005-05:00

My technical illiteracy put this video in a separate post.

Hundred year flood

2010-05-15T15:08:00.015-05:00

Two weeks ago we had some serious rain. Something along the lines of 14 inches in 12 hours. Everyone upstream and downstream got hit by a super long front producing the rain. The flooding was extensive.
Baby, the menagerie and I are fine. The creek behind our home is far down the hill from us. We were high and dry through the ordeal.
Below is a shot of an intersection in Clarksville. In this picture there is a McDonald's , Shoney's, Hooters, Harbor Freight and many other businesses under water.

Our friends took the opportunity to break in a new kayak down the middle of Riverside Drive. Sam let me use these pictures from her facebook page. Thanks Sam. You guys are crazy awesome!

Riverside Dr opened up this past Sunday the 9th. It was closed a whole week. We were 16 feet above flood stage. Nashville was 14 feet above flood stage. Right now there is a massive clean up effort going on here and in Nashville. Nashville's freeways were hit hard. Here's a link to a traffic cam clip from one of the worst days.

Blooming Blossoms

2010-05-05T20:36:00.012-05:00

While raving about how our flowers are doing this year to Dave he requested pictures. Here you go Love.
A woman in the ward gave us these two tone Irises. I love them! A sneaky white one made it's way into this batch as well.

Dave bought these Narcissus last year. They are gorgeous. This group is under our red bud tree. Which had some blooms on it this year. I didn't get any pictures of it. Bummer. I appropriated the red bud starts from an abandoned farm house our first year here. They have tripled in height in three years.
Dave sent this rose bush to me during his last deployment. They have taken off.

Again these Irises were a gift from a coworker two years ago. Thanks Bo! It's hard to tell from this picture but we've got five colors in this patch. White, pink, two tone purple, lavender and yellow. The yellow ones are still thinking about emerging. I guess they don't want to steal the show.

We will miss all our flowers when we move. It has been one of the perks of living in Tennessee.

The Cowboy

2010-05-01T21:51:00.006-05:00

This picture is a little old but needs to be posted none-the-less. It was taken a few days before Dave left for his all expense paid vacation at an exclusive location in the heat and sun. Sully the ever faithful attendant would follow him to Toronto and back if given the opportunity. Which he demonstrated even after the horse stepped on his paw. In return Sully bit the offending hoof above the hock while Dave was considering which part of the ground would make the softest landing. Thankfully all involved came out unscathed.

We are growing

2010-04-28T17:18:00.012-05:00

Baby started crawling last week!

Just in time for the new floor too.

Here are the pumpkins at 5 days and again at 9 days. I can't believe how fast they have taken off. We are going to start some more today and hopefully get them all in the ground soon.

Today I removed the little box the queen bee came in. She gets to eat her way out courtesy of a marshmallow I installed. If only it were like every time we moved. Welcome to the neighborhood! Now eat your way through the door.

The pictures are of the honey comb they built this past week. Too bad I had to remove it. It was in some valuable honey real estate.

And all these guys are still kicking around. I haven't killed any yet! All in due time.

There's so much life going on around here. It's great.

Hit the ground running

2010-04-21T21:54:00.014-05:00

Baby and I are back from the lovely Alaska and enjoying a beautiful Tennessee Spring. Details of the trip will come in a later post with pictures when I get them all. For now I will placate you with a picture of the babe and one of my sisters in Alaska. I have so much to tell of the last week that it needs to be recorded before it's lost to the crevices of my memory forever.

The flight from Anchorage was the duration of Wednesday night. Here I need to shout to the world that we have The Best Baby Ever. She traveled like a champ. Better even. A silent champ that seems to do better on 6 hour flights than one hour Sacrament Meetings. What's up with that? Again I will detail that part of the trip later. I'm just pointing out that I did not sleep the night of said Wednesday. The next few days are kind of a whirl wind but here it goes.

Thursday morning land in Nashville.
House AC gets running as we are twenty minutes from the driveway. (Cutting it a little close guys. Especially since it was supposed to be done two weeks before.)
Deal with AC guy for the first 30 minutes home.
Come to terms with the destruction caused by the dog.
Hop down to Rural King to get chicken supplies. (A little random I realize. But I needed to get there before all the good ones were gone.)
Set up chicken brooder.
Attend Missionary Correlation Meeting at 8 pm. Still haven't slept at this point. Pretty sure most of my comments were slurred.
Baby still on Alaska time zone had a rough night. Which translates into we both had a rough night.

Friday Morning hopped down to Rural King again and purchased ten Rhode Island Red chicks. We now have a wonderful chorus of chirps coming from the laundry room.
Took the mutt for a swim. It was a glorious 85 degrees.
Set three packets of pumpkin seeds on their happy little road of plenty.
Prepared the living room for a life changing paint job.
Finally showered. But still haven't unpacked as of the writing of this. How sad.

Saturday slept in. Thank you Baby Dearest.
Dropped baby off at a reputable day care and painted our ceiling with primer. We have a white ceiling! This is the first time our ceiling has been white since I moved in. Dave started the awful task of removing the popcorn ceiling (insert here malicious popcorn invented by the Devil himself) before I moved to Tennessee. Instead of aging sheet rock we have a gleaming white ceiling. It is a marvel to behold.
Aired the fumes out while the dog and I completed a run to the dump. I have this fear that the truck will fail to start while I'm inside that odorously foul place. Who puts the dump inside a warehouse?
Continued to air out the paint fumes while baby and I attended the Rivers and Spires Festival downtown with some great friends. Hopefully I can get some pictures of that to share soon.

Sunday. The typical Sunday. Everything but restful yet full of Sunday things, meetings, visits, lessons, the whole works.

Monday. A package of bees showed up as I was pulling out of the drive way headed for yoga. It's awesome that we have a mailman that has handled bees, doesn't freak out at the mention of them with a can of Raid and delivers them to your door.
Quickly sprayed the bees with water and left them in the laundry room too. Now I know you are expecting me to follow up with some disaster where the chickens eat the bees and all havoc has transcended my home into Pandora's box. But I'm happy to report that I came home an hour later to a content buzzing from the floor while the chicks were oblivious on top of the freezer. This is where they all stayed for many more hours. Unfortunately for the bees.
Next baby went to her six month check up. She's 14lbs 9ozs of happy and laughs. She has the greatest laugh. Now that I have a camera I hope to get it on video for all of you to enjoy as well.
Here is were I would love to say I went back to the disaster on the verge of exploding in my house. But, alas, Sully had to go the vet. On the way home he did a little exploding. In the car! He chose to puke in the car as we were pulling in the driveway at the house. Thanks dog.
Hived the bees around 4pm. Oh how I wish I could report that had been uneventful. But I did something uber dumb. I left my hair in a pony tail. Doesn't seem like a big deal but, oh, the devil is in the details. I bent down to seal up the last of a long list of to-dos and eight of those girls got caught in my pony tail. Before extracting them all from my hair four of them got me. Three stings on the scalp and one on my jaw. My elephant man impression is super hot. This is the first time I have been stung by our own bees. Dave was stung once when he dropped a crowbar in a hive and then retrieved it with his bare arm. Hopefully we've learned our lesson. We have gear. We need to start using it instead of acting like, "I'm the bee whisperer, watch me fearlessly go into the lair of pain and suffering with just a loin cloth."

Afghanistan Abroad

2010-04-15T06:58:00.002-05:00

I have moved to a little outpost near Kandahar for a few weeks. We rotate one medevac crew through every few weeks. It's called FOB Ramrod and it's great. There is no poo pond. That by itself would be enough, but it gets even better. The food is better. The ribs are an 8 out of 10 and they have free packets of beef jerky and mango ice cream bars. We have no supervision so we can do whatever we want, like walk around without a hat, and drive the tractor without a hard-hat and pee on the aircraft. Don't tell! We have a fridge and an excersice machine and a projector and a pit for bonfires. This is the most fun I have had deployed since painting flames on a humvee. We get one or two missions a day and we are the only crew here so we have to stay pretty sharp. So I sleep alot and work on homework and play games with the chase crew and the aid station medics that like to hang out with us in their off time. Yesterday I watched Avatar, started a fire with sticks, played Turbo Crainium, and picked up an Afghan Army dude that got shot and slept all afternoon. I will be sad to eventually have to leave here. I almost forgot, the toilet stalls all have a sign in them that says "NO STANDING UP WHILE POOPING! BY ORDER OF FIRST SERGEANT MILLER." I don't know why I would ever try that but apparantly someone did enough times to merit hanging laminated signs in every stall. (Sigh.) I love it here.

A room with a view

2010-03-30T00:42:00.005-05:00

Baby and I are visiting the lovely State of Alaska for a few weeks. We kissed the dog goodbye and headed to snow and beauty. THIS was the view out our room the first morning!

Which, hello, is the best view ever! Thank you JD and Caitlin for letting us stay with you, enjoy your amazing view and sharing your Life cereal. It's an awesome way to wake up.

Not only did the dog lick us goodbye as we left but the crocuses came out to bid their farewell. Look at all the color! This year all the colors shared the stage.

Remember that one Spring I complained about the crocuses making an appearance based on color. Only one color at a time decided to grace the yard. And I complained about it. Who in their right mind complains about flowers? No one, that's who. No one in their right mind complains about beauty in the world. That post now stands as testimony of my temporary bouts of not sane.

It's wonderful to live in such a beautiful world. Happy Easter everyone! Enjoy your beautiful Spring where ever you are.

Communication Breakdown

2010-03-29T08:36:00.003-05:00

I bought a cell phone from an Iranian company here called ROSHAN and I'm pretty sure that means I am funding terrorism. They are cheap little phones and I bought a sim card and a 50 dollar pay-as-you-go calling card. I was told I could call home for about 25 cents a minute. Not too shabby. I called Valli and had a great conversation with almost no delay. But after ten minutes I had burned through my 50 bucks.

Hmm.

Maybe it's a little more than 25 cent a minute. But i found out that incoming calls are free. Valli bought an ATT intl. card that she discovered had an only slightly better rate of 2.50 a minute.

Getting closer.

Valli gets online and finds a company thats sells minutes at about 15-25 cent a minute. Perfect. She can use it to call me during her free times and it only costs us and time for the card. So we do that and the conversation goes something like this.

v: Hi!

d: What?

v: Hi, it's Valli.

d: Hello?

v: HI!

d: Hi.

v: What?

d: HI BACK!

v: oh. I got a calling card.

d: What?

v: Nevermind.

d: What?

v: What?

d: I CANT HEAR YOU!

v: WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU!

~call dropped~

So we are still working on the whole cell phone thing. I suspect it might soon get scrapped as a failed experiment. But by golly, Harrells don't quit. Until we have wasted a pantload of time and money trying it out, anyway.

BUT I did get a personal dial-up subscription today for only 100 bucks a month. That ought to buy the Taliban a RPG or three. Thanks Iran. And Russia. And China. And Pakistan. And Columbia. Thanks for helping me keep the fight for Afghanistan going. And if I left any other countries out I'm sorry.

But if it means I can Skype its totally worth it. Right? And it means I can do my homework from my room. I just finished my first assignment, a Memo of Introduction for my business writing class. I also wrote this blog. So. Ya. Totally worth it.

Cilantro

2010-03-16T10:17:00.005-05:00

Accepting your nominations for Worst Mother of the Year.

To solidify your vote I am going to let her play with the plastic bag next.

For anyone else in the running desiring to take the title here are my tips:
Turn your back long enough to write "dishwasher" on a note to yourself.
Leave a full garbage can at the floor level.
Place your child in a (bow leg inducing) walker.
Trim babies fingernails with a Bowie knife.

Hope these help your chances. Good luck. You'll need it if you want to beat me.

We like it Hot Hot Hot

2010-03-12T18:29:00.006-06:00

Our heater/AC unit does not handle separation anxiety well. As a result it died a couple days before Dave deployed. Died, gave up the ghost, croaked, kicked the bucket, puffed it's last warm breath. Speaking of warm breath, JD, Caitlin, you are champs. Please visit again. Please. You won't see your breath in the house next time you come.

I am happy to announce we have replaced the wimpy unit with a pro. It was located quite a road trip away by Tennessee's standards. We actually left the Nashville mission! Now that's a trip. But I had my dutiful helper to keep me alert and assist in the heavy lifting.

We arrived at our destination to discover that our newish unit comes from the home town of Jack Daniels. Interestingly enough the guy we bought it from works for Jack Daniels. But, oh, that's just his day job. He's a bondsman as well. I wonder who his high school career counselor was?

To celebrate our warm house Squirt started rolling from her tummy to her back and then to her tummy. Again and again and again. She is noticing it's a little hard to roll when the mutt wants to join in. He has a thing for diapers. Unfortunately.

Baby news

2010-01-05T16:02:00.015-06:00

We've been diligent at taking pictures and video of our little doll. Not so diligent in sharing it here. We've accepted that seeing her is the only reason you come here. To make up for our lack in parenting duties here are some of our favorites.

This is right before she got her first shots. She was so happy and talkative, oblivious to what was coming.

Christmas at the Harrell's

2010-01-01T21:54:00.010-06:00

Though it's a little behind the times, here is our Christmas.

Thank you to all who sent us a Christmas card. Opening the mail was an anticipated part of our day throughout the season.

If you don't see yours in the front it might be on the back. Love that huge "joy to the world" card. Thank you Banana!

These pictures were taken Christmas day. So if you still don't see yours it showed up a little later and we enjoyed it thoroughly.

Bell ringing for the Salvation Army in front of Walmart.

Busted out the snowsuit for squirt. Good thing too. It was super cold and the Carhart coat didn't quite reach around me, the carrier and the baby. She slept through the whole thing. Dave brought in the masses with his enthusiastic bell ringing. While the baby worked the crowds.

First time in the bumbo. She has started grabbing things and pulling them towards her face. Her pants are not that short she's just showing off her legs. A latest pass time of hers.

Christmas day we all gloriously slept in. Stayed in our comfy pajamas, ALL DAY! With the exception of the baby who did get dressed. Played Hand and Foot, our latest time suck that we have fallen in love with. Went out for sushi, in our pajamas. Played Hand and Foot at our sushi table, in our pajamas. All the Asian women at the sushi place telling Dave he lost because he's male, priceless. Watched Avatar, in our pajamas.

We agree that pajamas and sushi may well become a Harrell Christmas tradition.

Sully the socialite

2009-12-17T13:43:00.003-06:00

Dave shot his first deer! He didn't have to wear his camouflage or sit in the cold for hours. Sully cornered it.

After losing Sully for a good 30 min. he was discovered frolicking with a deer just below our house. Now, our German Shepherd likes to play. I mean, he really likes to play. With anything. Cars that run him over, horses that trample him, cows that kick him, squirrels dead or alive, turtles dead or alive and dogs. Dogs that run, dogs that growl, dogs that bite, big dogs, little dogs, blue dogs, green dogs. It matters not the level of aggression he's faced with. Sully will merrily swing his tail with glee at the prospect of a new friend.

Now enters injured deer stage left. Sully happens up said deer and commences to "play" with his new found friend. Play for Sully includes jumping. Jumping on, over, in the face, on the back, between the legs, over the neck, jumping. Not to be left out is licking, welt inducing tail flinging back and forth, tongue lolling in joy, saliva slinging to the four corners of the earth, paws everywhere but the ground.

This spike buck knows not what to do with Sully. Unable to run away he attempts charging our lovable dog who in turn licks the bucks face. After seeing this distressed animal being tortured by our rambunctious pet Dave put the thing out of it's misery. Now before you go running to Fish and Game to put my husband away, know that it appeared to have had an encounter with a vehicle. The vehicle came out better from the encounter I am sure. I will spare you the details of the poor thing. Just know it's in a better place. At least it's not harassed by Sully anymore. If only that held true for the rest of us.

Oh cuss oh cuss oh cuss!

2009-12-16T21:35:00.002-06:00

So today an old truth was brought home to me. Electricity is bad! I made our tankless hot water heater explode and shoot water all over the laundry room today and electricuted myself a couple times in the process. Hopefully Valli knows how to fix it because I am never touching it again but I really really miss hot water. And all because of evil electricity. Those Amish know something.

Someone was in a hurry

2009-12-07T07:44:00.003-06:00

Dave's personal items are getting shipped to Afghanistan today. His arms were full as he left in a hurry this morning. Our house is in an uproar over the short notice to get the stuff packed. Thus all the gear you see strung though the house. Good times!

Sully ran frantic through the house looking for the birds when I let him out of his room. Sadly for him I had gotten then on their merry little way at that point. He silently watched them, for who knows how long, before I discovered them. A little notice would have been nice. Thanks for that dog!

Has it been a whole month already!

2009-11-15T17:29:00.014-06:00

One month old today.

Hobbies include:

Cornea removal. Instrument of choice: fingernails.
Practicing applied sleep deprivation.
Taste test subject of dog.
Nudist.
Singing. Favorite song: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Testing dads pain tolerance levels during chest hair removal sessions.
Waste management extraordinaire.
Aerobics Richard Simmons would be proud of.
Perfecting manipulative facial expressions. (Flashed that smile at the bishop today. Smooth little lass.)
Studying curtain patterns for future interior design craftiness.
Bungee jumping. At least it will be when we get a Johnny Jumper.

Recent Activities include:
-Visiting the local pumpkin patch.

-Eating at Macaroni Grill

-Dressing up for church.

-Judge at ward chili cook off.

-Shopping with dad. Oh, how I wish we had picture of that one. Dave walking down the isles of Rural King with squirt in a baby carrier, the dog on a leash, pushing a cart bursting with bags of dog food.

So many activities!

Introducing our progeny

2009-11-13T12:45:00.013-06:00

Harrell brood #1 entered the world Oct 15th, 2am. 8 lbs. 5 oz. and a total doll.

Already has dad wrapped around her dainty fingers.

Here she is in her first ten minutes home, bundled up by dad in two blankets, a towel and stuck in bed with us. A trend that needed to be nipped in the bud. Baby's crying - place baby in bed with us - we all sleep peacefully for 15 minutes - rinse - repeat. I think it was harder breaking Dave of this habit than it would have been for her. Once she figures that one out there's no hope for us when she starts walking.

"As I went down to the river to pray,"

2009-10-05T04:07:00.005-05:00

My Mom and sister are currently here while awaiting the arrival of the "late" bebe and we are having a blast. While describing to them an incident that we witnessed a couple months ago behind our house I realized that it still needed to be shared with "ya all".

As far as we can tell, there were close to a hundred people that got baptised. Less than 24 hours prior while Dave and I were fishing, yes, even I, went fishing, I spotted a 4 foot black snake swimming up stream in the exact spot those people are getting dunked. The group was out there for about two hours before they got through everyone. Dave, who was "there first" did not let it disrupt his fishing. He never did snag one. But got to wear that smashing hat and was entertained while trying to bring home dinner.

The baby shower

2009-09-17T12:30:00.008-05:00

My baby shower was over a month ago. This post was started two weeks ago. I think it might be time to actually post it.
My wonderful friend Christine, above, had the shower at her place assisted by Tracy, below. Good times were had by all. With the best food. Christine made delicious cupcakes full of happiness and sunshine. They were topped with a butter cream frosting that must have contained an illegal substance judging by all the joyous outbursts coming from those who consumed as many of the treats as could be shoveled into their mouths. Alas, I do not have a close up shot of those amazing confections to share with you all.

Everyone was so generous and we had a lot of fun oohing and ahhing at the cutest stuff. Baby things are just adorable. Can we get any cuter than baby socks and booties? I'm actually looking forward to doing laundry while those are in the mix.

Matching baby pictures with their owners was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Knowing what these women's children looked like did not give me an advantage like I haughtily assumed. Sadly I didn't have any baby pictures of my own too contribute. But I was on the board as a little girl about 3 yrs. old I think. It's the one with the big black exposure mark along the bottom.

This event provided me with an opportunity to finally make some cake pops that I've been dying to try for months. I opted for the block shape. I don't recommend right angles on your first try but it was fun and I was happy with the end result. These were the devils food version. My kitchen took about three days to recover and it was worth every mess.

Thank you, Christine. Thank you, Tracy. Everyone had a great time.

Sully's Solo Frat Party

2009-09-15T19:03:00.002-05:00

The Paramedic

2009-09-01T18:11:00.008-05:00

Dave has been busy. Thus, I take it upon myself to update you on our doings.
After returning last month from a two week long camping trip (details to come), Dave started a rigorous schedule at a local hospital as part of the paramedic course he is invloved in. His shift is 7pm -7am, week nights. He comes home and tells me the latest adventure every morning (or rather every afternoon upon waking). These include but are not limited to:

· Drunken men getting tazed repeatedly while still being violent with their care giver. Until the police officer threatened to taz the family jewels.
· Parents discovered having “alone time” in the hospital bed next to their sick 12 year old daughter. Followed with indignation and nasty threats at being thrown out of the hospital.
· A man insisting he was well then collapsed in front of Dave in the parking lot as said man was on the way to his car.
· Insane nurses giving sedated patients a “make over” and chopping off an eye brow in the process.
· Insane nurses singing choreographed songs about poop.

Whenever additional help is needed in a “situation” there is a page on the PA system for "DR. Strong report to room ###." At such times every available staff member in the hospital comes to provide support, muscle, intimidation by numbers, additional security and the like. Such was the case with the belligerent parents stated in bullet #2.

Somewhere in all of this Dave has been getting signed off on necessary tasks and duties to achieve his Intermediate Paramedic license. Putting in many hours at the ICU, Labor and Delivery, and the ER. Good job, Honey!

Next comes ambulance ride alongs. Those should provide additional adventures as well. We’ll keep you posted.

Puppy Love

2009-07-21T20:21:00.006-05:00

This is for all the canine loving children we know.

4th of July weekend we went camping with a great family. They brought ten puppies along with them. So much fun!

Sully found a unique chew toy while at our campsite. A turtle shell. Thankfully the previous tenant had long since relinquished it's claim to the external casing. I was trying to get a shot of him flinging the shell into the air, catching it with his teeth and then continuing to chew. He wasn't cooperative on that, however. He worked on it for two days off-and-on till it was obliterated.

There were 3 wave runners in attendance. One of which Dave managed to tip upside 3 times. Once with it still running. That was exciting! Even Sully got a ride on one.

On the actual 4th Dave went back to Ft Campbell because the Army had him pulling staff office duty all day and all night. He drew the short straw. It's not like someone is out to get him... maybe. That night I went back too and it was a good thing because there was all kinds of crazy storms and tornado's in the area. Our tent got blown over and filled with water. The people we were camped had a tree fall into the campsite. Thankfully nobody was flattened. And they had a kayak get blown away and sunk wherewith no amount of searching could discover. Lame. But Dave, Sully and I stayed high and dry. When we went back in the morning the party that stayed was soaked pretty good and ready to go home.

"The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance." John Ruskin

2009-07-01T19:00:00.002-05:00

The flowers we have been enjoying in Tennessee are great. From our crocuses, irises, tulips and hostas it's nice to see so much color. Though we've labored hours on many plants the ones we've enjoyed the most preceded our arrival. These tiger lilies could have been planted here thirty years ago for all we know. For as thick as they grow, they very well could have been here that long running the length of our front yard and framing our mail box. Dave took these pictures and did a wonderful job.

He couldn't pass up the opportunity to exhibit his shiny hog. Which he took to the local race track last weekend for a little drag racing. He was delighted with his times and speeds. Legal speeds, in this instance, of 87 mph in 1/8 mi. Unfortunately, our camera was not in attendance or we would have some video to share. A similar outing may not occur for quite a while, since the motorcycle is currently lame with a flat tire; due to all it's burn out on said excursion.

Girls trip

2009-06-30T11:06:00.018-05:00

A number of years ago while I was in the financial grasp of higher education my mother, sisters and I rarely saw each other at the same time. Though I traveled back to the grand State of Alaska every summer it was to exotic places like Shemya, Reddog Mine and Kensington. There were seasons where contact with my family was limited to thank you notes for the use of a shower during midnight drive-by's. All us canny girls decided this lack of true interaction must stop. Thus, the Girls Trip was born.

This is from our first trip.

Here we are a few weeks ago outside the Orlando Temple.
(The color scheme in the Celestial Room is purple and green. Usually I'm most opposed to purple, however, this was delightfully elegant.)

Till this year our trips have been within the State of Alaska. This time we broke our geographical bonds and met up in Florida. Spending time with my mom and sisters was wonderful! We had a great time eating amazing foods, visiting water parks, applying copious amounts of sunscreen then promptly sweating it all off, taking pictures in every lighting, angle and pose conceivable and just being together. It was a marvelous week.

The fireworks at the Magical Kingdom and Epcot Center were great, though a wee bit crowded. If there had been a suggestion box, I would advise more seating options at the Magical Kingdom. The sidewalk got a little hard after a while. The Epcot center was more accommodating even if a pagoda was slightly in the way of the show.

Pastries in Paris are a must if you're ever in the area. I just hope the French girl filling my order for the third time within two hours was too busy to recognise me. Maybe putting my hair up, down and then in a hat worked.

To dodge the Florida heat and humidity, large amounts of cold desserts were consumed. Ghirardelli's did not escape our mob descending on their air conditioning and devouring some great ice cream. Here is where I would like to write that all four of us ate this boat of sweetness. Hmm... not so much though. I pretty much had all of it.

After scoffing at lines of people standing in the sun to get signatures and pictures with Disney characters I trampled a little girl in a princess dress and tiara to get to the Beast. Her prince charming must have been busy at the October Fest. How could I not pass up an opportunity to kiss the Beast? What character would you go out of your way to meet?

Long before our arrival each of us picked one eating establishment and one activity that we could not leave without completing. What a great system! There was no way to see everything and this way no one whined about their ideas being shot down like guinea fowl. For my birthday we ate at the Rainforest Cafe. I tried to call Dave during one of the thunderstorms so he could hear the elephants and lions roaring. It didn't work so much. We went to a show of my choosing that would not have been possible without Dave's birthday present to me of his June allowance. Thank you, Honey! You're the best!

Look at what they got me for my birthday cake! It even had a candle somewhere in the oohey gooey foot-high greatness. Now, this we all ate. I don't think there was a crumb left.

This is evidence for my drums instructor that I did practice while on vacation.

In my absence Dave purchased Rock Band. "Honey, now you can practice all the time." What things have your spouses managed to sneak into the house while you were away?

Thanks for a great week girls! Can't wait till next time.

One fish, two fish...

2009-05-29T18:38:00.003-05:00

Dog Fish!
How to teach dogs to swim.

1. Ask them nicely to swim.
2. Throw something dog likes into the water.
3. Wade into the water so dog can swim to you.
4. Finally admit to yourself that none of these things work, chase down dog, hold by collar, drag into deep water.
5. Pat yourself on the back. Your dog can now swim.

6. Check yourself for leeches.

Our Hunter Gatherer

2009-05-23T09:45:00.009-05:00

Ahh! Some time on the lake.

Dave decided that my back-up-in-case-we-tip-clothes made a good covering. We're both fried anyway. Though our head gear did do some good. The skin is still attached to our noses. Hopefully it will remain that way.

The one he kept.

The one he didn't.

Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Babys First Picture

2009-05-16T06:55:00.006-05:00

We saw our kid earlier this week. The tech said she thinks its a girl. So there it is, we're having a girl. Or possibly a boy with no penis. But since there is a loving supreme being that watches over stuff like that, our child will be the former and not the later. Our precious little meat-wad had come a long way from being a gooey blood-filled jellybean. We watched her hopping around like a little frog during the ultrasound. She's feisty, and modest. It took a while for us to catch a glimpse of the goodies because she is already so pure and chaste. She got that from me.

Tired of Rock and Roll

2009-05-06T14:16:00.002-05:00

... but only because what goes for 'rock and roll' these days is crapangrywhiteboynoise. I've been threatening to switch brands for a while if things didn't get better and they haven't. I can't believe I'm writing this- I listen to country. At first I only did it when I couldn't find anything on all the rock stations, but now I have half the pre-sets on country station and I have it on about 70% of the time.

Looking back I'm not really surprised. There were signs. Like the hunting, camping, and fishing. The gardening and the beekeeping. And most of my friends are red-necks. My life's ambitions are to work with animals, have a ton of kids and live on a ranch out in the boonies. Those are all fairly rednecktastic themes so it only makes sense that eventually I'd pick up on redneck music.

I still love good rock though. And if someone ever starts making good rock and roll I'll definitely listen to it.

"No, Jim, I use a bad apiarist."

2009-04-29T09:55:00.017-05:00

"I say we fill Michael's office with bees. My apiarist owes me a favor."
Thanks, Dwight Schrute. That was a highlight in our week. However, you may not extract our queen and place her on a flushable wipe. She's too valuable for such petty things.

Ah, Bees! We have had our bees for a little over a week. Check out how awesomely unaware and inexperienced we are at keeping them. We checked on them for the first time this Saturday and they haven't all flown off and ditched us yet.
In fact to our delight and surprise they had already started making honey! Apparently, they need to work their bee magic on it longer before it can be applied to toast. Thankfully, we knew this or we'd be having an unpleasant week of restroom familiarization.
Our little workers even started making their own comb. See the honey inside? The comb was so light and fragile. We stuck some in the freezer for show-n-tell for our friends. Thank you all for humoring us. You've been great. If we get a little too excited go ahead and tell us so. Then we'll proceed to tell you how awesome it to have bees and that everyone should jump on the band wagon. When they fly off into the setting sun shouting insults and we cry on your shoulder then you can proceed to tell us how awesome it is not having bees mess up your emotional stability.

It would appear that dogs like honey. As well as honey comb. Who knew? Yeah, probably not the best idea to get them addicted to it. At least we have this kick-butt pest control fence. The dogs are actually part of the pest control management. Hopefully this doesn't turn into a case of the fox guarding the hen house.
Instructions were relied on heavily from our trusty Beekeeping for Dummies during the installation process. We each hived a nuc and made Harrell modifications when needed. Good times!

Our bees did not arrive in the mail, as is the usual manner of delivery. We'll have to try it someday to see the reaction at the post office. Bet that delivery guy won't skip us for having a motorcycle parked within 10 ft. of the mailbox that day. Our lucky bees were picked up from the supplier in Alabama and drove overnight to arrive in our hands by 8:30 the next morning. See all those boxes of bees! We were last on the list. This guy had already stopped at three other towns before he got to us.

The Harrell's are bee owners! With a lot of first timers luck by next year we shall be official beekeepers.

Take Notes

2009-04-28T14:51:00.004-05:00

...or rather don't. Take change instead!

Yesterday we bug-bombed our ant-infested car and needed something to do while the fumes worked their magic. We decided to go see a flick but didn't want use our week's date money on a Monday. I raided my change cup instead.

The change cup has been hit pretty hard recently so all it had left was dimes and under. Anyway- we had enough dimes and nickles to pay for a pair of movie tickets. To make things easier for the ticket guy we separated all the change in little baggies and added up the totals. But when we paid, he said he had to count it all out by hand. Super-lame!

He didn't count out our 100 dimes and our 60 nickles. Instead, he just stood there holding the baggies- looking at them. Then he'd move a few coins around and sigh, then he'd look at us, then look and the coins and sigh again. Eventually he must have decided that counting up all our change wasn't worth his time. Since he couldn't print us a ticket without counting the coins, he let us keep them, and told us to go see the show without paying.

What the what!? Go without paying? How awesome is that! There is such thing as a free lunch, and it's at the Great Escape Mega-Plex. So now we'll never have to pay for a movie again. We'll just keep breaking out the coin baggies over and over.

I highly recommend everyone do this, just don't do it at the same place I do, because then I will have to cut you.

Guess What!

2009-04-25T14:00:00.000-05:00

It's 87 degree's. Yay!

Room For One More?

2009-04-21T18:04:00.011-05:00

Sully graduated obedience school and got to wear this snazzy cap. How awesome is that? He did really good at all his commands and didn't try to eat any of the other dogs until after he passed all his tests. After that he was kind of an embarrassment but oh well, dogs will be dogs. The next day our little graduate amused himself by yanking the DSL box off the back of the house by the phone line wires. Way to go, kid.

Thankfully our internet subscription covers those kinds of things. We had to call the repair man back for the next two days as well. Once because I shot a staple through the internet cable while securing it to the house, and again the next day when I cut through the buried part with a shovel planting a bush. But this post isn't about me.

We've been thinking that we aren't meeting Sully's intellectual needs. He does have a diploma and everything. Even though we walk him every day, he still seems really bored and lonely. I can't spend more time with him outside, and he isn't allowed to come inside (by virtue of the sacred pact I made with Valli when I got him, except in the laundry room when it's stormy).
Recently we were laying in bed talking about what to do about our dog when Valli gave the most best suggestion ever- Get another dog!

So after thinking about it over for a little while we came to these conclusions-

Another dog would double our dog expenses and create a 100% increase in the production of poop.

Another dog would possibly curb Sully's boredom induced destruction sprees.

Another dog would possibly double the amount of destruction sprees.

Sully is fun. Two dogs = Twice the fun!

By the end of the conversation we were agreed that we wanted to find another dog. A grown dog that someone else has already trained, vaccinated, fixed, etc. The next day we found a listing on petfinder.com for Sam.
Meet Sam! Sam is a one-year-old 75 lb German Shepherd Dog. When his daddy deployed, Sam decided that he was the boss of the house and everyone in it. His Mommy decided that to bring peace back into the house, Sam would have to go. I found him listed as free to a good home.
We went to his house the next morning. It was just a couple minutes from our our place. He was nervous and timid and fearful when we first went into the house. We learned that his owner had hired trainers and professionals to help her get Sam under control but she couldn't handle him. She had to keep her other extremely submissive dog separated from him at all times or he would bully her constantly. We decided to give him a trial run and she brought him to our place. Sully was so happy to have company I thought he would explode. Once Sam was out of his comfort zone he became submissive and relaxed almost immediately.

The only problem was Sully. He just wanted to roughhouse with Sam non-stop. We had to separate them for periods so Sam could take a break from getting beat up on. That was when we realized that Sully didn't just like other dogs, he was a bit unstable with other dogs. Even so, we went on ahead and kept Sam. If after a few days they were not getting along well, Sam had a second offer on adoption from the county sheriffs office. But we needn't have worried. By nighttime the two were best buddies. In the week or so we've had Sam, both dogs have had pretty big transformations. Sam is much more docile and easy-going. Sully barks less, tears up stuff less, and never pulls on walks to get at other dogs anymore. I run them in the morning on the same leash and they are well-behaved. So well behaved in fact they've gotten compliments on not only their handsome looks but also on how great they do while leashed together. Then they spend the rest of the day sleeping, stealing each others toys, and beating up on each other. They are two happy dogs, and we don't feel guilty that Sully isn't getting stimulated enough.

I feel like turkey tonight!

2009-04-14T11:43:00.004-05:00

I missed the fall turkey hunt this winter by 2 days. I really wanted to try to shoot something when I got home. Not the “post traumatic stress disorder want to shoot something”, just the normal want to shoot something that I’ve had since I was 5. So a week ago I asked a friend with a really big yard if I could try to take a turkey. He said that was great but only if I shot some of his horses while I was at it. Sadly we just didn’t have the freezer space. Maybe next year though.

I’ve never been hunting before. Everything I know about hunting I learned from the advertisements in Field and Stream magazines. I didn’t have very high expectations, but by golly that wasn’t going to stop me from trying. Long story short: I didn’t get one. After 6 hours and being chased out of my first hide by dogs I sat up to leave. That was when I discovered that I had unknowingly called in a hen. She was standing just outside my field of vision about 20 feet away watching me. When I sat up she started moving off and then I missed my shot. Oh well. At least I knew I was doing some things right. The next day I went back and found a spot where I could see more. After 2 hours I called in another hen and nailed her. It would have been cool to hold out for a big old tom but I was excited and didn’t really care what I brought home, so long as I wasn’t empty-handed. So here is my turkey.

Something else I learned. Plucking and cleaning a turkey sucks and smells tremendously bad. I brought it home pre-cleaned because I wanted a picture. Next time I’ll make sure I bring the camera and leave all the guts out in the woods. Anyway- Yay for me and being a mighty hunter.

What's Cookin?

2009-04-11T20:34:00.003-05:00

Gosh. Is it April already?

I have so much stuff to blog about! The biggest news is that Valli is pregnant. And what is even better is that it's mine! We are at about 15 weeks now. For all of you who don't know what that means (like me), we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. We find out in week 20. It had better be a boy, that's all I'm saying. From what Valli has tried to explain, it seems our baby is a 4 inch long turd-shaped, wriggling, thumb-sucking, meat-wad with a discernible neck.

Valli is doing great. She wasn't ever super-ill so we are grateful for that. In case you wanted to know, I handled the first trimester like a champ. I was never sick and the energy levels were through the roof. I think I even lost a couple pounds.

Meat-wad's suspected birthday going to be some time in early October. These are some of the things I want our baby to have for its birthday: a Nintendo Wii, a Remington 300 Ultra Magnum, the 3rd season of My Name Is Earl, and numchucks. Valli wouldn't ask for anything unless it was life and death. Not even for her first baby. But you can trust me that she agrees with everything I've written

Deuces, y'all.

Courageous little guys

2009-02-12T14:13:00.003-06:00

Yesterday we had a burly storm pass through. I thought the house was going to blow over and there was water running inside a just painted wall. Yes! Inside the house. The wind ripped off some stripping over a window and rain came rushing in. There were even pictures taken of the streaming rivulets so Dave would know I wasn't exaggerating. The dog licked up all the water as it hit the floor. I guess he came in good for something.

That was yesterday. Today, it's gorgeous out. The crocuses must have decided it was safe to venture out after all the death and destruction. It's barely February and we have flowers! I figure they are the most courageous little guys or they're kamikaze's. Either way, it is great to see them this morning.
Tennessee has had the craziest weather lately. One day it's in the 70's the next it's -7 followed with ice storms. Maybe all the bulbs we have are just confused.

Only the yellows have opened. They did this last year too. I planted three colors and they all came up by color. First the yellows then the whites followed by the purples. I don't really mind their color selectiveness. It would be nice to see all the colors at the same time though. Does this happen to any of you? Or does anyone know why they do this?

Kindergarden

2009-02-10T09:31:00.009-06:00

I signed myself and my dog up for puppy kindergarden at Petsmart. Our first day went really good. The other dogs in the class were big breeds too, so I didn't have to worry about Sully injurying anyone elses dog. However, I did have to worry about him injuring someones child. One couple brought their toddler.

I dont know exactly how old he was, but he was just learning to walk and didn't pay any attention to what mom and dad said to him. My dog still greets people by planting both paws in their chest, so I had to keep a really short leash on him. The puppy that the family brought had no immunizations. They had picked him up from the pound a few days prior, so who knows what he might have been exposed to. Nobody could let their dogs off their leashes for fear they would injure the baby walking around, or contract some kind of disease. At one point the trainer must have said something to the family about not bringing the baby with them. They got all offended and made a scene about how they want to talk to a manager. The manager told them the same thing. After they left we had a great time.

Seriously. Who does that? The kid was the smallest one in the room! Morons. And then when someone told them, "hey dude, maybe letting a 20 pound baby loose with a half-dozen 30 pound hyper-active clumsy puppies is not the greatest idea you ever had", they act like they are being picked on.

Otherwise that class was great. Sully really likes the trainer and does whatever she says. It makes him look like a prodigy and makes me feel like an idiot because he hardly ever does what I say the first time I say it. But whatever. We went over all the not's first. Teaching not to bite, bark, jump on people, eat things they aren't supposed to, and crap in the house. Then we started the sit and "watch me". I never heard that one before but it's kinda cool. It's just to get and keep your dogs attention. It seems like it's too easy but it really isn't.

If anyone has or is getting a dog I really recommend the course, especially if you have a big dog. It costs about 100 bucks for 1 hour long sessions over 8 weeks. If your are not satisfied with the results, or think your dog needs to go through it again, you can take it again for free.

I know some of you are thinking, why spend a hundred bucks on something you can do at home for free? The biggest reason was that I am so busy that dog training is sporatic. Another reason is that every day Sully gains about a pound and we have no idea if he is ever going to stop growing. We want to get him in hand as soon as possible, and that includes not turning into a moron every time he see's another dog or person he doesn't know. Going to the class gave him the oppurtunity to get familiar with other dogs and people, and to be obedient even with distractions. So it's still a good deal.

Here he is now at 4.5 months and 45 pounds. Growing so fast!

Stupid Rail Road Companies anyway!

2009-01-27T15:23:00.016-06:00

All the experiences with time zones in my existence have been either so-so or bordering on the negative. Such as: trying to facilitate phone calls to family members without waking them up in the mornings. Or vise-versa, them waking me up at night. All in all, not that big of a deal since I like talking to family and we all agree sleep is highly over rated. Most recently we experienced one of the negative aspects of time zones.

Dave and I had a little jaunt up to Louisville, Kentucky a few weeks ago. (Yes, we saw the big bat outside the Louisville Slugger Museum while driving around. It's hard to miss since it accents the skyline.) Even though Louisville is only a 3 1/2 hour drive away, we had planned on staying a few nights and seeing what the city had to offer. Due to school madness and timing we were limited to one evening. Before returning home from Afghanistan Dave purchased tickets to Wicked in Louisville.

By process of elimination, we choose to go the night of the show and leave our packed overnight bags to gather dust on the living room floor. Arriving 4+ hours before the show we killed time in a local book store and at dinner. I've just got to say that I judge restaurants by the quality of the raspberry lemonade. Hard Rock Cafe is one of the few that still puts real raspberries in theirs. They are now on the good list, even though they're way mainstream, which usually takes people off the list. Melting Pot, on the other hand- I have no words for serving me hard lemonade. My lawyer might though. But that's for another post.

So, back to Louisville. We would have loved to continue killing all our oodles of time down at the river and enjoy more of the city. As fate would have it, the weather was bitter butt-cold, and the wind howling like a banshee, so we opted to go the venue about an hour early and see what they had to offer by way of visual art. Bah, as if we saw any. The show had started 7 min. before we got there. While trying to wrap our minds around this concept it dawned on us that we must be in a different time zone.

DUDE! I mean really! Shouldn't there be like some loud voice that announces when you've entered a new time zone. Or, at the very least, a sign on the freeway. Every city and county we passed through had a sign letting us know we were in their territory. We were in one county for less than 2 miles. And how do I know this? Because there were signs. I even commented to Dave on the matter when he was wonderfully reading Treasure Island. Our city alone has 10+ signs letting everyone know that it's the home of Miss USA 2007, who fell on her face at the Miss Universe pageant. OK, so it doesn't say all that. I can't help but think of it when I see them though. So signs, they're handy, they're informative, they're helpful, they're necessary. Come on people, work with us here!

And another thing: why are there two times zones in one state. They should all take after Alaska and become one time zone. It took like four years for Alaska to get there once they started (it's just that big). But they did it. And if Alaska can do it, you can too.

On a completely different tangent, Wicked was pretty good. The Defying Gravity song, spectacular.

College Man.

2009-01-22T08:35:00.004-06:00

For the first time since 2000 I am a full-time student!

(Not including two very breif and unsuccessful attempts in '03)

Part of my re-enlistment was an agreement to take a semester off to do school full-time. I still have to go in to work first thing in the morning to do PT and the morning meeting. But after that I am released to prusue my education. What a deal eh? Ok Army, You don't suck so bad anymore. Just remember what I said about the singing and the Santa Clause speaches.

So getting enrolled was a great pain. Registration started on Jan 12th. Tuition was due the 14th, and classes started the 15th. Not much time to work with I thought. My boss, who had to sign off on everything, didnt get back into the country until the 16th. So we were really cutting it close. But so far everything has worked out. I got into the classes I wanted, and I have all day tuesday and thursday off. That's really nice because the school is in Nashville and it's an hour drive to campus. And I have time to go into work now and then to fly and stay current on my work-stuff.

I'm in the Animal Science: Pre-Veterinary program and my classes are American History 2, Algebra 1, Anatomy and Physiology of Domesticated Animals, Plant Science and Poultry Science. Yep, I said poultry. It's required, that's all I'll say for now about that one.

I haven't mentioned yet, I'm going to Tennessee State University. A fun fact about the school- TSU is traditionally an all-black school. It's still a mostly all-black school. Actually it's more like a mostly all-black girls school. All my classes are between 75%-90% female. I guess all the guys are home playing Madden and Grand Theft Auto 4.

Go Tigers! Also, the video Valli made of the bike works now, If you want to check that out.

Parenthood

2009-01-17T11:10:00.005-06:00

Wednesday morning we picked up the puppy. He's a big beautiful boy and a real handful. We named him Sully, after Monsters Inc's top scarer. Nature combined against us because the day we got him Tennessee was (and still is) hit by the cold snap. So he is inside in his kennel almost all day because he isn't housebroken yet.

Here are some pics from his first day home. He is 16 weeks old and about 30lb I guess.

He is probably going to be huge. Wish us luck!

Daddy's Home!!

2009-01-10T09:30:00.003-06:00

I'M BACK! And I love America. It's the best. I haven't sat down to write a blog because I've been to busy having fun, and I forgot all about it. Valli is at a lathe class so instead of pinning I'll write a blog about being home.

I got back to Ft Campbell around 8pm on the 23rd of December. Happy Birthday Joseph Smith, Lindsay Firth, and a bunch of other people not listed att. After 4 hours of time-wasting bullcrap I got to go home. The Army sucks. Literally, who on Earth wants to listen to the crappy band, sing the crappy Army Song, and be speached at about 'How great it is to have us back, now don't kill yourself or get sent to jail the first night back' for four hours, after sitting in airplane and airfields for 30 hours while our families are waiting in bleachers. Army: you suck for that. Suck. Anyway, after that mess I had seven days of repatriation/paperwork/dont-kill-anyone-including-yourself-beat-your-wife-drink-and-drive-drink-and-anything speaches.

I told you I was busy having fun. Now that that worthless crapfest is over with I have finally started my vacation. I have 30 days of Army-free bliss to spend doing all the things I've been waiting for. It's been awesome. Valli posted the bike pictures already- which is uber-cool, but not the best thing. The BEST thing is being with Valli, and includes a billion smaller reasons rolled up together.

Other best things about being home are:

Peace and Quiet. I could go on and on about the one. But I'll just say that Afghanistan was a very noisy place.

The House. Valli has done so much work on the house that I hardly recognise it. The bathroom is awesome and the eternal hot water is awesome and the new kitchen counters and cabinets and no more crappy carpet and crappy panelling is awesome too.

The huge truck Valli bought.

Christmas Holidays and rad gifts like friggin-awesome fuzzy slippers, REI gift certificates, and a monster gas grill. Also, Jenny- your gift is almost done, I swear I'll have it sent by February. And Ed, sorry man, not this year either.

Cooking my beautiful cow. He is so delicious.

Not working. There are no words.

Not being in Afghanistan. Way too many words.

The. Bike. Is. AWESOME!!! In case you also want one now, it's a Yamaha RoadStar Warrior 1700, and it has a ton of power! Who knew? Apparently not the insurance company because the premiums are so cheap! About a quarter of what they were for the last one. It is so sexy and loud and fast and shiny and cold to ride on in January but I DON'T CARE! I just bundle up and suffer because it so much fun!

The list has to end somewhere and I guess this will work, but I could go on and on. Being home is wonderful, and Valli and I are doing great, and if I haven't got around to calling you yet you are not alone because I've hardly called anyone. But I love you guys and hope you are having at least as good a time as I am, if not better.

That didn't take long

2008-12-31T08:05:00.007-06:00

Dave has arrived! And with him a new window shattering, two wheeled monster. Dave got here Tuesday night and this showed up Friday.
Due to an odd array of events we took this beast to church Sunday. It was our only option aside from staying home. One vehicle had an ignition issue which has since been resolved and the other vehicle was parked on a soggy lawn where we both attempted to push it out in our church shoes. Dave's attempts must have been much more enthusiastic than my own judging by the amount of mud on his shoes as opposed to my cute heels. In spite of his brawn the soggy lawn only digressed into a muddy mass and didn't not give up the car. So we did what all Alaskans would do on a frosty morning. Took the motorcycle.

It's impressive how the loudness factor increases exponentially while in a church parking lot as a couple services are in sessions within the building. Now we've taken our previous motorcycle to church on a number of occasions. The circumstances were a little different however. Such as; the fact that we were not only on time but early, another ward was not already in their meetings and that bike was a little quieter. Not that any motorcycle could really be nominated as the quite child by the librarian. It was a cold morning as well. So I will tell the ward members that sound carries better in cold temperatures and that is why your slumbering new born was awakened in a fright and not consolable through the rest of the day.

It worked!

Trash-Stash.

2008-12-01T22:35:00.002-06:00

I hit the teens today! 19 days to go and I'm so ready for it.

I cut my hair. It's short and respectable again, very dissapointing. People wept when I showed up shorn. But to compensate I have started growing a mustache. Think: sexual predator. I'll send some pictures before I shave it. I'm only doing it because it's ugly and I'm bored and resentful, and it will be gone before I get home.

Medevac Stories.

2008-11-19T10:08:00.004-06:00

So apparently it's not against the law to murder your children in this country. We picked up a ten-year-old girl with 2nd and 3rd degree burns covering about 90 percent of the body, including her face and mouth. It looked like a huge pot of boiling water was poured over her head. I guess that out in the sticks it's a popular form of punishment- pushing your kid in a fire or throwing hot liquid on them. The call came this morning, and it took the civilian hospital in Kabul about 4 hours to decide wether to admit the patient. We think they were just stalling, banking on her dying if they waiting long enough. And- by the way- she will die. Soon.

The Jalalabad crew picked her up from the base closest to her town, and we took her from J-bad to the hospital in Kabul. When I went to the J-bad aircraft to transfer the patient, mom and dad were sitting in the back seat looking as cute and concerned as could be. For a second I thought about not killing them both. I sure as heck didn't let them on my bird, though. They flew in our escort bird. It's such a crime that parents here can do that to children and not face some kind of legal consequences or something.

The little girl was stable throughout the flight. She was a mess though, sedated and intubated of course, and drugged out. I won't go into detail, but I doubt she will ever wake up. I'm really glad she at least made it to the hospital. I don't know how I would have handled that.

Anyhow- now for a more positive story.
The last 'exciting' mission I got was for two local guys way down south near Salerno. They got caught in a crossfire between some good guys and bad guys and got shot up. They laid in a ditch bleeding all night and all the next morning. I think it was like- about 12 or 13 hours before they were found and brought to a base for treatment. One guy was shot up on his arms and legs and gut, the other was shot in the neck and had a severed carotid artery. And yet they both lived and looked like they would have a full recovery. What the doctor thinks happened was that they got hypothermia from laying outside in a cold ditch. That made their blood pressure drop and their hearts and brains shut down, and also caused them to bloat up- which in turn constricted their injuries and helped stop their bleeding. Amazing, isn't it? Talk about miraculous. Not many people who have those kinds of wounds do so well, if they even survive. That's not even considering laying out with no treatment all night long. That neck shot guy was lucky to live ten minutes.

The things you see happen out here.

The Fro, Yo.

2008-11-09T06:47:00.006-06:00

When I was on leave this summer I let my hair grow out a bit. I liked it and my wife really liked it. She had never seen me with hair that long before. No one has in about four years. So I decided to keep it going when I got back to Afghanistan. I get it cut on the sides as per Army regs and let it get longer and longer on the top top. First I brushed it forward, then it got too long for that so I parted it on the saide. Now it's too long for that so I comb it backwards. I get some odd looks from people around here because of it. Most guys keep it somewhere between bald and about a half inch. I've also got some nicknames from it- Swoopy, Fonzy, Hippie, Shaggy, Zuko and Travolta.

The other day a co-worker told me I was breaking the "hair rules" of the US Army. We looked them up in Army Regulation 670-1. Interestingly, it says that the way leadership is to judge different hair styles is whether it interferes with the wearing of helmets, hats, and gas-masks. Weird. Also we found out that "all hair styled must conform to the shape of the head." So everyone with a flat-top in the Army is actually wrong. Weird. And Stupid. Who cares anyway?

So should I put my hair up....

....Or down?
Neat and tidy. Very Armyish right?

Marked for Death

2008-11-08T09:37:00.006-06:00

Isn't he cute? Sadly he is also condemned. Valli and I bought half of this pretty Angus steer (that's what we were told, anyway) for the freezer. I shall call him Buttercup. And when it's my turn to cook I will say: Honey, would you like, chicken, rabbit-food, or a juicy hunk of Buttercup? Or something.

Buttercup is currently enjoying the last few days of his short but happy life. He has been raised on a rotating pasture of all natural grasses and legumes with a few of his pals. They all wake up early and frolic and play until dark. He grew up on a little farm a few miles from Clarksville with dogs and miniature dairy goats. Buttercup has had a great life. And in about two weeks that life will be over. He will be divided into about 150 all-natural, growth-hormone, antibiotic-free pieces and stacked neatly in our freezer. I'm so excited! We are supporting our local little-guy economy, getting six to eight months of cheap, ultra-healthy, all natural, lean, tender beef. And let us not forget- sticking it to the polluting, greedy, degenerate gorcery superpowers!
Oh Buttercup, I could just eat you up!

"Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance." King George V

2008-10-29T20:41:00.013-05:00

Here is the much requested unveiling of the new Harrell Bathroom:

This may not appear as much of anything to those that have not been in our home as of yet. But when compared to the baby diaper yellow abomination that was our previous shower of despair;

it is the transformation a butterfly envies.

Now there are few ends yet to tie. Such as towel hangers, toilet paper holder, light above the sink, etc. There's just so many options, what's a girl to do? Soon I shall settle on one and we will stamp it complete. As much as I love the newish bathtub I think my favorite feature is the window and the natural light it brings in.

With the added floor space we gobbled up from one of the bedroom closets there is now direct access into the master bedroom.

I accepted an offer from our ward missionaries to lend a hand for their service project this week and they were so helpful! It was amazing the work we got done. I have door handles in the bathroom! Locks are great! And there was some ceiling scraping going on. See all that dust! I was able to scrape off the rest of the popcorn torture/texture this evening. That's one more room down four more to go. Ceilings that is.

The elders hacked a path through the back jungles of our property as well. See how out of control this Tennessee landscaping is? Any suggestions on how to keep it at bay. Besides not running away to Alaska (which reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon) for five months in the middle of summer. I already thought of that one thank you very much. The elders are behind that growth somewhere with a weedwacker.

We Are Adopting!

2008-10-26T05:17:00.013-05:00

Before Valli and I got married we talked about dogs. We both like dogs. We talked briefly about having a dog of our own someday. It went something like this, I think.

Hey Valli, one day I’d like a dog. Like a German Shepherd. That would be awesome, right?

Ok Honey.

Maybe a year later we got married and I decided to bring it up again. That conversation went a lot differently than I had planned. Turns out Valli and I were polar opposites on nearly every aspect on dog ownership. I said when I get back from Afghanistan, she was thinking more like three or five years down the road. I was thinking keep the dog inside, she wants it outside. She wanted fixed, I wanted all natural. I wanted a purebred pup, she wanted an inexpensive or free/rescued full-grown dog that was already trained. I was thinking companion and family member, she was thinking security system. We were as far from the same page as we could imagine. We have never disagreed on anything as much as we have over the hypothetical dog.

But after discussing the subject again and again, after reading all the books, after digging up every concern, after lots of compromises (mostly on the part of my saintly wife of whom I am completely undeserving) and a firm understanding that I owe her big time! -we have reached a consensus.

And here it is.

This little guy, or one of his brothers, will be coming home with us in January. He's a German Shepherd. Mom and Dad are both 85 pound working dogs. The plan also entails that I will ensure he is trained to be prefectly behaved on his own and around children by the time I leave for the next (and last) deployment in about 2 years. Bonus points if he will "maul-slash-scare-the-urine-out-of" people when Valli decides they are threatening, bothersome, or especially annoying. He will be a full-time outside dog except for very special occasions. I will handle all fencing (before the wee one gets here), housing, and waste disposal issues. A Valli has been doing great at finding deals on the internet for pet crates, buried fences, and other neat dog items. There are still other details to iron out but on the whole we have reached a settlement. We are both looking forward to bringing him home.

Valli's thought's: "Looking forward to bringing Dave home soon."

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

2008-10-25T13:49:00.003-05:00

There have been lots of goings on at the Harrell home. In the last 24 hours we have taken that incredible List and all the goals and plans we constructed over a year- and figuratively burned them to the ground and danced in the ashes. This is a good thing.

Valli got back from her 6 month stay in Alaska and immediately went to work cleaning, repairing and improving our home. We wanted to sell it around the new year and get into a larger better home with a big yard and room to do all the great stuff we’ve been dreaming of since we got married. We had injected a lot of stress into her life with so many things going on at once. I’ve been doing what I can to help; calling our bank and getting pre-approved for a loan, searching for real estate online, but Valli was doing almost all the work. And with things moving forward so quickly, I really got caught up in buying a new home. We even narrowed down our choices to one place that we both really liked.

Then we got to the task of figuring out how to pay for it all. Valli has retired from the engineering realm for a while. We haven’t finished remodeling our current house yet. We might not be able to even sell our place once it once it’s ready. The home we were thinking of buying will be wonderful (and finished) and huge, but will not leave much room in our budget for unexpected surprises. And as luck would have it- we received an unexpected surprise three days ago.

The transmission on our 1982 Benz 300D tanked. No one in 100 miles wants to touch it, so we will have to buy a new (read= rebuilt. Like we could really find a new one) tranny. Luckily a guy in town bought one a while ago from a company in Arizona. So we won’t have to find one ourselves. We are prepared to deal with things like this. But once we jump into a new house we won’t be. That experience really made me think about some things that Valli has been trying to tell for the last week. Mainly- are we sure we are doing the right thing? Once I really thought about it, the answer was a clear and resounding “NO!”

Enter the paradigm shift. We are still going to get the goals we want. But we decided that the plans we had made was the wrong way for us to get there. So, instead of buying a house with a big yard, we are keeping our house and just buying a yard. You read right. Once the house is finished we are going to start looking at land for sale. No one wants to develop now with the current state of things so it’s just sitting there, depreciating. That will be our big yard for keeping bees, raising pigs, planting a big garden, making bonfires, playing paintball, shooting things, whatever.

Instead of paying of the last of our debt with the money we’d make from selling our home, we are using the down-payment we’ve saved for to do that. Instead of buying a house with a big basement and storage space, we are going to excavate under our own house. Eventually.

And instead of buying a motorcycle we are buying a transmission. It was my idea. Valli wouldn’t ever ask me to give up a motorcycle after all the pathetic behavior and drooling and waiting. But it’s for the best. Since we are not moving 20 miles further from the post, we can easily afford me driving my big awesome truck to and from work until I figure that bike situation. Since we won’t be stretched to the breaking point, we will have plenty of dough at the end of the month for savings, dating, heaven willing my motorcycle fund, and anything else that breaks on the old car.

Hey Four-Eyes!

2008-10-23T23:22:00.004-05:00

Do I look smarter?

I went through a physical exam last week. In the past I have always got flying colors in every event. I am a perfect example in every aspect of human health and fitness. But this time when I got to the eye exam and the doc asked me to read line nine it went something like this-

Me: Um... right. There is no line nine.
Doc: Try line eight.
Me: Oh wait! I see it now. O, um ...I, um...another O,
Doc: Try line eight.
Me: Fine. Line eight says... um... ummm.
Doc: Try line seven.

Line seven! That's the best I could do. My near vision is still 20/20 but my farvision in my right eye has deteriorated significantly over the last year. Weird. Maybe that time in the 7th grade when I shined a laser directly into my eye from an inch a way to see what it looked like has finally caught up to me. The right one has always been a little off since then. Go figure. So now I have these glasses. They are hard to get used to but when I wear them stuff really pops out at me now, like numbers and letters and stuff. I don't think I will wear them very often, just when driving or shooting. Anyway- new toys are tons of fun, and yay for getting old.

Ichabod Crane never had it so good

2008-10-20T22:34:00.064-05:00

It's that pumpkin carving time of year again. Woo Hoo!

This uber beautiful pumpkin is brought to you all the way from Afghanistan by the talented Dave. I can't believe he got so much detail on such a small area. Carving genius I tell you. It is lacking flames. Did I say lacking? I meant improved upon with no flames.

Mine on the other hand, hee he, while lacking in detail makes up for it in uniqueness. Ok, so maybe it doesn't actually make up for it. But it is unique. No one else I know of used my hand for their inspiration.

The rest are brought to you by a few of the Hatley siblings who participated in our Family Home Evening.

Laci's cute creation.

Spencer with Hogsqueal.

I think the top would do well for a tail.

Mark's impersonation of his pumpkin.

Lanisha and the Joker.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Why I Can't Get Promoted

2008-10-19T02:16:00.004-05:00

Some of you who have experience with the military might wonder: Why hasn't Dave been promoted in nearly three years? I myself wonder that all the time. In this post I am going to try and answer that question.

To get promoted in the Army you need four things: time in grade, points, a peer recommendation and a visit to the promotion board.

Way back in the day- when I got back from Iraq- I was too lazy to do anything about it. I didn't have the time in grade, and I didn't feel like gaining points through gay Army correspondence courses when I had a new wife, new house and various other distractions.

A year down the road- Now I have the time in grade, and I've stocked up a bit on points by now. Now I have no time. My boss (the one who is supposed to recommend me) is gone for months doing some kind of Army training and I am left in charge to keep the Aid Station functioning and get us all packed up and ready to go to Afghanistan. We worked long days and weekend during this time. I sure as heck wasn't studying for any boards, and I can't recommend myself. So- no dice there.

Then we get to Afghanistan and I move to the Medevac. Now I have lots of time to study and scrape up the few remaining points I need to make that cutoff. So I told my new boss I was ready to go to the promotion board. I had all my points, awards, comendations, letters from previous supervisors- everything all ready to go. And he said he won't send me to a board until I have finished my progression as a flight medic. And that is understandable. He wants to know that I can do the job I have now, not the one I was doing for the last three years. Fine. Another month or two won't hurt.

After seven months of delays, broken aircraft, trainers going on leave and getting send to other bases, crappy weather, and an overwhelming number of medevac missions I was finally progressed and signed off as a flight ready crew member. I went to my boss again to send me to the promotion board. He said not yet. I needed some more experience flying missions and getting familiar with working with a crew, managing mass casualty scenes, and working on the patients. Okay- whatever. He wants me to have more mission experience. Cool.

Two months later: I don't know anyone who has been the rank of Specialist as long as I have unless they have been busted or can't pass a physical fitness test. People who have been in the Army less then two years now outrank me. It's getting a little insane. Every week I hounded my boss asking him to either recommend me for a board, or give me a written counseling statement explaining why he wouldn't, and what I still needed to do or be before he would. Finally he did. He said he would send me to the board. I would go in November and I have tons of time to prepare.

Two weeks later, or about a two weeks ago: I pissed off my platoon leader. I bit the hand that feeds. I had just finished a really crappy mission where lots of things went wrong. My platoon leader was chastising me for something that I had no control over while I was trying to restock my aircraft in the dark for the next mission. And instead of saying- Yes Sir, it's my fault. Everything is my fault and you are right. I said something like- I'm doing the best I can and you don't know what you're talking about.

A couple days later my boss told me I wouldn't be going to the board. The PL had shot down his recommendation because I have zero military bearing and respect for my leadership. Which isn't completly true. I have a little military bearing, and no respect for hypersensitive crybaby officers or condescending pigheaded jerks. It's been my biggest problem since joining the Army. And that incident confirmed it. So being hardworking, dependable, highly skilled and knowlegable, experienced and exibiting many other leadership qualities is not enough to get promoted. Not in this platoon anyway. It's so frustrating to watch my peers fly through the ranks. Friends with easy jobs and supervisors who don't care. Peers who are overweight or undertrained- but get sent up the ladder because they have a buddy somewhere. It's discouraging. But at least now I know what I need to work on. All the hard work in the world doesn't get me what I want until I learn how to bend over.

Hopefully I will be sent up in the first few months back in Fort Campbell. A lot of the leadership is moving to other places or getting out of the Army, and I will be one of the most experienced medics left. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And did you guys all see the size of that truck Valli bought? Its as big as our house! My wife is the awesomest.

Trying to keep my title so I'm open to suggestions

2008-10-16T16:18:00.010-05:00

A few of our avid readers may recall when I took Grand Prize this Spring in the Worst Wife contest. Thank you to all who voted for me. Now my dear supporters, I fear that my actions yesterday may have put that title in jeopardy. Which is such a shame since I have so enjoyed admiring my trophy on it's mental mantle.

Due to Dave's current redeployment ambitions the need for a good work truck has arisen. These plans and schemes involve raising honey bees, chickens, goats, butherching hogs and anything involving self-sufficiency. We might just throw in some lambs for Spitfire when she visit's. So yesterday I purchased a work truck.

Now since you are seeing this for the first time Dave I must apologize for a few things. This truck is lacking a few aspects found in the Ford Ranger I/we sold. For instance things the Ranger had that the Chevy does not; limited seating, tiny cargo area and broken armrest. And then there's a few things this truck has that the last one wasn't hampered with. Such as a pesky tool box that will probably reduce the need to untangle the cargo net. Yes, that cargo net you like so much and repeatedly liken to Christmas lights in muttering tones. Another addition when compared to the Ford is the Heavy Duty towing package which will inevitably lead to hauling more things and helping people move. I realize the trade off is quite unequal. But I am trying to keep that trophy after all.

This one time in Afghanistan...

2008-10-13T05:38:00.004-05:00

It's been a while since I had any cool war stories to share. I had a trying mission the other day that I'll relate, and give my readers some insight into the exicting side of my deployment. These exciting moments don't come along everyday. Or even once a week. And sometimes in a month. But I did have a really cool one come along a few days ago.

I was on the second-up crew and through a series of unexpected events we had to take a mission for three urgent patients without the assistance of a flight doc. It's standard practice to bring one with us in case the patient needs care that exceeds the medics ability, training or if there is just too many things going on at once. We don't always bring one if the patients have some really lame ailment. But this wasn't one of those times. The only info we had was that all three patients required immediate surgery, and they were all already on ventilators. No info about specific injuries, treatment they have already received or anything.

While I was loading up the aircraft with all the extra monitors and breathing machines I thought I might need, someone else was trying to get a doc to us. In the end we decided to go without. I was a little nervous on the way down. When we got to Jalalabad and I saw my patients I was able to relax a bit. They were in a truck that was hit by a bomb, caught fire and crashed. Two were US soldiers and one was a local interpreter. They all had burns to their upper bodies and airways, and some broken bones, but they were all stable and drugged out. Our people in flight operations had called the Jbad aid station while we were in flight and told them we were without a flight doc, and they had a surgeon there for us. He didn't have any medevac experience but it was better than nothing so I brought him along. None of the patients looked like they would be any trouble and I didn't think I would need him anyway.

Normally if we only have one patient the doc doesn't have to do anything. If the patient is really messed up the doc and I will split up the work- ei one of us works on the airway and the other hooks up monitors and get the fluids and drugs pumping. And if we have multiple patients I'll work on the one worst guy and the doc will keep an eye on the less severe ones, and be a ready resource if I run into anything I haven't seen before.

On this flight the doc had no way of knowing what he should be doing, and wasn't up on our internal communication system. So to get his help with anything I used the highly inefficient point and scream method. Like so.

Me: (points to doc and screams) "YOU", (points to my eyes, then points to patient closest to doc and screams) "HIM".
Doc: (blank stare)
Me: (same thing but louder)
Doc: (nods, but doesn't do anything)

I wasn't his fault though. We normally train our docs on what we expect them to do. And doc aren't used to working in an environment that they didn't personally set up.
It all worked out in the end. It was extremely crowded and cramped in the back of our bird but eventually I got everyones O2 adjusted, IV bags hung and flushed, monitors monitoring and wounds looked at. Once that is done the rest of the flight usually goes real smooth but with these three there was always one or two things that needed to be done. A piece of equipment would fault and need to be troubleshot and fixed, a different patient would need suction, the middle guy needs more oxygen. And since the doc didnt know where anything was, I spent the ride crawling over the litters from one patient to the next constantly trying to fix something. The worst was in the last 5 mintutes of the flight.

I was doing something with dude-in-the-middle when I faintly heard the doc screaming something at me and pointing to the monitor on dude-on-the-left. His oxygen saturation display is showing a rapid drop. After checking the equipment to make sure the sensor is working right, I disconnected the ventilator and hooked the O2 to a bag and started breathing for him manually, and asked the pilots to please fly faster because all of the oxygen tanks are about to run out. I happily those O2 sat numbers climbing back into the pink. That's when I looked at dude-on-the-right and saw his pulse had doubled and his hands where clenched and shaking. Apparently while I wasn't watching his drugs were wearing off and he had noticed a big fat tube was shoved down his throat. So the doc took over bagging and I crawled/swung over the patients so I could get to my drug bag and send dude-on-the-right back to lala-land. Once that was done I looked to see how the doc was doing, and it lookded like his guy was tanking again. Thankfully we landed right then. Whatever was wrong with the patient at that very moment could wait the 60 seconds it takes to get to the emergency room.

We got everyone off nicely and wheeled into the ER, I gave my report to the doc there, thanked the guy that flew in the back with me, and went back to my bird. The cargo area looked like a bomb had gone off. Wires and tubes strewn everwhere, wrappers and syringes and trash getting blown around, a couple little puddles of bodily fluids, the hiss of leaking oxygen canisters, and alarms beeping angrily from two or three various machines. Accompanied my all this was a deep feeling of peace and accomplishment. I managed all three patients without panicing or forgetting everthing I ever learned about medicine, and everyone got to the hospital safely. After 9 months in this country I felt like I had been thrown into the fire and finally come back out unsinged. It was a great feeling, and since that mission I haven't had the usual pre-mission butterflies and doubts. I have arrived!

Church News

2008-10-01T10:13:00.003-05:00

Good news for the church from Afghanistan. Last Sunday the fourth branch in the country was organized. Following is a statement written by the district president, Gene Wikle. Cool eh?

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

On Sunday, September 28th the fourth military branch in Afghanistan was organized. The Salerno Military Branch was created at Forward Operating Base Salerno. The Salerno Branch has 31 members. The new branch presidency is comprised of President Steve Haga, Christopher Witte, First Counselor, Tim Wilson, Second Counselor and Joel Ellington, Elders Quorum President. LDS Chaplain James Montoya officiated on behalf of the District Presidency. I am grateful to these brethren for accepting the call to serve. I know that they will bless the lives of the members serving at FOB Salerno.

As of October 1st the Kabul Afghanistan Military District is comprised of 442 members serving in four military branches, 18 service member groups and at 17 remote locations. We have been blessed to have members serving from many countries to include the United Kingdom, France, Belgium, Germany, South Africa, Australia, Philippines, Canada, and the United States. This is truly an international effort of service by saints from the four corners of the world united to help the good people of Afghanistan in defense of freedom.

Balance

2008-09-29T04:20:00.003-05:00

As this deployement continues to stretch out I've had to fight the temptation to use this blog as a venting session. Almost like therapy. I titled my blog 'A Work in Progress' because the purpose of it was to show how my life was evolving and moving forward. Like the renovation of our first home, the growth of our family, the accomplishment of goals, and the expansion of friendships. The recent postings have been a reflection of my life at the moment. Which is- not much going on right now.

That's not entirely true. There are always lots of things going on here. I have been able to see and do many unique and interesting things while I have been here- but I don't talk about them because I don't think they are suitable for a blog. There are many daily dramas and challenges, victories and defeats.

Some days I think I am losing faith in humanity. Observing the way people live and act here, and watching the news from home. Witnessing people leave behind traditional values to embrace the new american dream of 'something for nothing' and freedom from accountability. And then there's us here in Afghanistan. We are in month 9 now. Resentment and desperation are spreading through the ranks. More and more often I have the feeling that I want to choke someone. More often I sleep in, take naps and avoiding being around other people. Work and progress are steadily being nudged aside by laziness, stagnation, and indifference.
How do I stop the spread? How do I keep balance?

Well, regurgitating all my repressed negative feelings into my blog and spinning it out into the abyss of space is one way. Another is counting my blessing and looking for the little miracles happening around me, and recognising them as such- victories of the human spirit, wonders of nature, changes of heart, divine intervention, and the administration of justice.

For example-
We recently picked up a local guy that was blown up/shot up a bit. In the hospital his fingerprints were matched to a couple of roadside bomb incidents. So he got his, and now he's in jail. Hopefully until he dies. Justice.

Since I started teaching for the branch addiction recovery program I have had the opportunity to witness the atonement and the miracle of forgiveness unfold in the lives of people who have desperately needed it. Changes of heart.

The colder the weather gets here the more insurgents start walking back home into Pakistan, the less violence in Afghanistan, and the lower used motorcycle prices drop. Wonders of nature (sortof).

Me and all my good friends that I came here with are still alive, and I haven't accidentaly killed anyone with well meaning but inappropriate medical care. Divine intervention.

This morning one of my enemies became one of my friends. Victory of the human spirit.
So there are all kinds of things to be happy about.

I think that will keep me from losing my mind for a few more weeks.

Stink-eye

2008-09-16T22:42:00.004-05:00

This morning we gave a lift to local guy. He kept giving me the stink eye during the whole flight. I thought it was a little rich. We patched him up and gave him a ten thousand dollar ride, but he glared suspiciously at me the whole flight. And in return he made the whole aircraft stick like crap. I even gave him morphine. I didnt have to. I could have just let him suck it up. He wasn't stink-eyeing anyone else in the bird, just me. The flight doc had a thought about why that might be. I have a red cross patch on my helmet. Apparently that means I am an evil christian crusader, and want to take over the muslims. So there you go.

Waiting

2008-09-14T09:52:00.004-05:00

With less than four months to go (fingers crossed everyone), the major theme now is waiting. For the last eight months Valli and I have been working for our futures. We have been working and saving all year in preparation for all the cool stuff we want to do when this deployment is finally over. We are so close to both meeting our financial goals, and more importantly- getting back home so we can put them into practice.

I left for Afghanistan in January. At that time it was all about getting out of debt. You might remember the motorcycle conversation. sniff. Then around April we made The List. We listed everything we could think of that we wanted or needed. Then we organized them by priority. Any time either of us gets money it goes towards the list. Funds get set aside for the highest priority items first. First was remaining debt. We were able to knock that out a few months ago. Next came "needs", like money to finish remodeling our crappy house so we can sell it when I get home. We just got that part taken care of about a week ago. And thanks to the state of Alaska for the awesome dividend this year we have a good portion of the fourth catagory filled: The downpayment on our next house.

Every day we are inching our way closer to the last catagory. All the work and all the waiting- every day a few dollars closer. This is my favorite catagory. Wants. Our wants list has sensible things on it. Things like home furnishings, a modest vacation, food storage, etc.

But there is this one thing. At the bottom of the wants list is something superfluous, immodest, insensible and expensive. Most of my free time is dedicated to thinking about, or corresponding with, my wife. Honey- I hope you know that you are always number one. What I think about most after her is the next motorcycle. Especially on warm sunny days. There are about 300 warm sunny days a year here. Everytime I go up in the air and see the long dusty roads stretching past the horizon, or the twisties carving over mountain passes and descending into deserted canyons, I see myself back home on my bike. And not just any bike either- a Hayabusa. The bike.

But there is still more waiting and saving. About three and a half months worth of waiting. Waiting until I can go home and be with my wife. Until I can sleep in my own house. Until I can eat good food and ride my bike. And do all those other things on the long, long list we've made. But first- more waiting.

(Sigh) Waiting.

Summer Reading Program

2008-09-03T00:51:00.005-05:00

A list of the books I have read this summer in no particular order.

The Kite Runner
A Thousand Splendid Suns
The Pillars of the Earth
Every Living Thing
The Lord God Made Them All
Storey's Guide to Raising Sheep
Storey's Guide to Raising Beef Cattle
Storey's Guide to Raising Chickens
The Host
The Thief Lord
Keeping Bee's
Basic Butchering of Livestock and Game
The Aurther Spiderwick Chronicles

Books to read by October-

Inkspell
The Good Earth
Storey's Guide to Raising Pigs

And the one I am working on now has a story associated with it. Or rather, the continuation of a story.
I just finished my awesome massage at the barbers and went by the little AAFES store next door. I needed some pretzels or something. The lines there can get really backed up with the Afghani dudes working the credit card machines and American money. I often grab a periodical to pass the time in line. The suprisingly large magazine rack is dominated by publications devoted to only a few topics. They are: guns, video games, fitness, the vehicle genre (bikes, planes, trucks and cars), and boobs. There is also a slim section of paperbacks containing the usual bestsellers, militaria, and sleazy black romance novels (read: chick porn). Wedged between the erotica and the guns was something I never would have expected to find- Stephanie Meyer's newest and worst-reviewed novel. Breaking Dawn. I had to do a double-take. It was the only hardback book on the wall, and that big white queen stood out like a beacon.
"Holy crow! What are you doing here?" thought I.
There was only one mildly abused copy. I bought it.
I have been reading a few chapters a day with Valli via phone. It's hard on the phone cards but it's been really fun. We both love the book so far, and agree that it's pretty rediculous. We have to stop frequently and ask ourselves why we are still reading when it waxes especially stupid. We skip around when Meyers goes off on things like "loving Edward more than anyone in the world has ever loved anyone on the world" and "burning pain" for seven straight pages. And we just call the mutant "R" because reading the name outloud makes me cringe. Even so, we still lose hours and hours of sleep and plan our whole day around reading about Bella and the gangs (hopefully) last adventure. We are slightly more than halfway through.

As for the livestock stuff- it's pleasent research. The book I most enjoyed reading this summer was the one on cows. I highly recommend it. Cows rock.

How Spend 20 Bucks

2008-09-02T22:56:00.003-05:00

Give it to the Kyrgystanis.
The other day I went to the barber on the north end of Bagram. It's operated by 6 or 7 girls and one dude from Kyrgystan. One (much needed) half-hour back and neck massage put me out only 10 bucks. The girl working me over knew very little english but did a great job. And we didn't feel obligated to keep up a conversation the whole time since we hardly understood each other anyway. After my massage I got my hair cut, not shaved or buzzed, but actually cut, styled and shampooed by another friendly person there. Seven bucks. Plus 15% gratiuty put me right at 20. More evidence supporting that things are looking up in Afghanistan. With all the soldiers spending money and the multitude of cheap services available I frequently wonder what some people are so pissed off about.

America Needs This

2008-09-02T06:31:00.002-05:00

I spent a few hours in Jalalabad this morning and went buy the hadji-shop for a snack. I didn't find any snacks, but they had an amazing collection of DVDs for sale. The DVDs are produced by a company called World Movie BBK. I bought three for a dollar apeice. They each come in their own brightly coloered, glossy cardboard jacket which is covered in little thumbnail pictures representing their contents. Each disc holds about 30 hours of program. I got one featuring the Discovery Channel series called Wild World, A Disney disk that has a dozen or so full-length aminated classics and every Pooh movie ever, and a Kung-fu disk full of Bruce Lee, Let Li, and Jackie Chan. There were maybe 40 different disks on sale.

What is wrong with you America? I never thought I would say this, but Afghanistan has you spanked. At least in the cheap movie department. About 50 movies for 3 dollars, and I didn't even haggle with the guy.

Perspective

2008-08-06T11:18:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I think that I should focus more on positive things. Peoples accomplishments rather than their failures or pain. Someone reading my blog might get the idea that I am a negative person who delights in embelishing on the suffering of others. I want to say that this is not true. I am a very positive person. I am an optimist. And I do not enjoy watching people suffer. Perspective is what is needed here.

As a flight medic in Afghanistan, I see people at their lowest. The service we provide brings me close to suffering, injured, sometimes dying people on a daily basis. These people are innocent victims of cruelty, or brave volunteers who accepted the mortal risks of being a warfighter. Only a small percentage of our clients deserve to be in their situation. Being a medic can be really difficult sometimes. Pain is never funny.

Or is it?
Being able to compartmentalize makes things easier. I take one part of a situation and put it in the serious drawer, and another part of the same situation goes into the hilariously ironic drawer. Today for instance:

This afternoon my crew got a call to fly to Jalalabad and pick up a young woman with burns to her face, right arm and hand. On the way there, we were guessing how she got burned. We were pretty sure it didn't have to do with fighting because of the place and manner in which we were picking her up. Was it from a hot coffee spill, an accident in the shower, did her clothes catch on fire somehow? I found out when I arrived. Apparently she was trying to burn some pieces of wood, and they weren't burning as fast as she wanted. So she decided to dump gasoline on them and light it with her cigarette lighter. Um... duh. Back to that perspective thing. On the one hand- oh, sad. On the other- Friggen awesome with a side of serves you right. Taking into account that she's fine- no permanent damage, and she gets a free trip the Germany for recuperate for a few weeks. Like free leave! So yeah I think it's funny, and I'm sorry you were hurt because you did something super-retarded.

The story gets better/worse.

While the doc and I were getting her all ready to go, we got another call. There was a second helicopter on it's way to Jbad with a middle aged local guy for us to take to Bagram, with gasoline girl. He had some bad eye and face trauma and a big laceration on one of his arms. So I'm thinking- was in an I.E.D., a mine, some kind of industrial accident, or was he kidnapped and tortured by the taliban? Nope. And I kid you not... Mauled by a bear. I didn't find much funny about this one. But it brought a bunch of questions. We have bears here? How did he manage to find one? How do you get it to attack you!? Flying around the mountains out here I've never seen or heard of anything accept goats and camels. And the biggest question of all- How did I wind up with these two bizzare cases on the same day, even on the same flight?

I have no doubt that this is the weirdest job I will ever ever have. Good thing I'm so positive.

I Will Never Learn

2008-08-05T01:55:00.003-05:00

I got a call on my radio today to get ready for an urgent mission. When I ran up to my room to grab my jacket, gun and drug bag, I discovered that I had locked myself out.
My door is a flimsy sheet of half-inch plywood hung on two hinges. It is secured on the outside by a hasp and a little masterlock. I checked my pant pockets again to be sure. Then I kicked in the door, grabbed my stuff, and went out to the aircraft. The mission was cancelled before it started on account of bad weather. I went back upstairs to fix my door. I wasn't at all perturbed because this is the fourth time I have had to kick my door down. After the last time I started keeping a hammer and nails in my room just for this purpose. It only takes a minute to bend the latch and hinges straight and nail them back on the door frame. My key was on my desk, right where I always leave it.

What just happened?

2008-08-02T23:10:00.003-05:00

A couple months ago in a weekly servicemens group meeting we discussed the possibility of initiating an addiction recovery program. The group leader got in contact with some people at LDS family services to get some more info. About the time I got back into country he asked if I would spearhead the program and think about holding meetings during the week on days I wasn't flying.

The next day: somehow we were mentioned in the Church News.

Crazy crazy.

A Sharp Increase in Sphincter Tone.

2008-07-28T08:07:00.004-05:00

I hit another benchmark today. Today I had my first cardiac emergency patient!

We got the call to pick up a guy at a little outpost over an hour away. The only information we got was that it was a US Army male and "unconscious and clenched jaws". That was all. Thanks a pantload people. About five minutes out from the pickup we were radioed that the guy wasn't breathing anymore and they were going to do an emergency cricothyrotomy. That means cut a hole into the trachea through his neck and push a tube down into his chest. We were still getting ready for that when we landed. So we loaded him up and took off while we hooked him up to a ventilator (that only worked for 10 seconds- we did it manualy after that) and a cardiac monitor that told us his heart wasn't beating. Instead of coming back to Bagram we flew really really fast to a closer base. After 5 or 6 minutes of CPR, two shots of adrenaline, some atropine and 200 joules his heart started beating on its own again. After the first few minutes I didn't think he was going to make it. I thought he had a head injury because he had some bruising and blood was coming out of his mouth and nose- but that blood was actually from the hole he had cut in his neck being pushed up to his mouth because of the CPR. Cardiac arrest cause by head trauma is a really bad injury. The base we went to was only about 15 minutes from the place we picked him up. I kept bagging him until we got into the hospital and then someone else took over. I also learned there that his condition was caused by a drug overdose of sleep aid and other unknown drugs, not head trauma. He looked like he was doing pretty under the other doctors care by the time we left the clinic.

It was a good thing I was flying with a more experienced flight medic and a very experienced trauma doctor. That dude was a handfull. He would have been screwed if it was just me and the crew chief. I learned a lot from that one patient about cardiac care. And about messing with sleep aids. It's too bad because I know that is a problem that a lot of soldiers struggle with here. That guy was just trying to get to sleep and nearly went to sleep forever. Plus having to wake up with a hole through his neck, subcutaneous emphesema, multiple broken ribs and an assortment of other aches and pains to be sure. Maybe he will get legal action against him by the Army as well; for drug abuse and destruction of government property. I'm glad that I'm not that guy.

So to sum it up. Yay for me for getting to learn some cool stuff about patient care and gain some awesome hands-on medical experience. Yay for the other medic and doc for saving the guy and teaching me to do awesome life-saving stuff. And yay for the patient for only being dead for a few minutes.

Bilbo Finds a Bomb.

2008-07-27T12:47:00.003-05:00

A couple months ago we brought a patient to the hospital. He was a US Army guy that got a little banged up. The emergency room is always loosely organized chaos to begin with. There are a million hospital workers that pour into the tiny room whenever we send them a patient. Half the people that go into the room aren't even doing anything, they just want to watch the show. On the peticular day I'm thinking of: one especially excitable little guy makes an interesting discoverey. This doctor - who I will call Bilbo because he kindof looks like a hobbit- is going through the unconscious patients gear (presumably because he has nothing improtant to do) and finds a grenade inside a grenade pouch on the said patients vest.

I want to pause the story for a sec. Here is what I would have done: Nothing. Most people would have thought- cool, a grenade- and went on doing whatever it is they are paid to do. Our patients carry all kinds of neat toys on them and the protocol doesn't change for any of them. The clinic staff makes a big pile of all the patients stuff and leaves it in a corner until the patients unit comes and picks it up.

What this guy did was different. He pulls it out of its perfectly safe pouch, grasps it tightly in both hands, holds it alofts and fairly screams "GRENADE!" over the mass of bustling doctors, nurses, techs and patients. Everything stops. All eyes go to little Doc Bilbo. For about two seconds nobody moves. That's how long it takes the room to see that the pin is in, spoon is secured with 4 or 5 wraps of electrical tape, and there isn't anything to worry about. After that, everyone goes back to doing what they were doing- except for Dr. Bilbo and me. I think he expected his coworkers to swarm the exits at his pronouncement because he kept looking around the room and calling out "Grenade! I have a grenade in my hand! Look out everyone! Grenade!" evey few seconds. He was in arms reach of me this whole time and I thought about taking it from him at this point. I almost did but I had this nagging thought that if I did, he might misunderstand my actions and shoot me. He was pretty wound up. So I just watched, open mouthed, as he slowly walked to the door. You couldn't even really call it a walk. Each step looked like it was an enormous effort. His arms were holding the little ball out as far from his body as possible. His bulging eyes were fixed unblinking at the object in his hands. From the look of him, you would think he was holding on to his own beating heart. And still shouting out "Grenade! Move aside for the grenade! I have a grenade here, in my hand!" as he slowly made his way to the exit. I saw him about 10 minutes later outside the hospital. He was still holding the 'thing' out at arms reach. (I can hardly bring my self to say it anymore- it's so retarded) He was telling everyone who walked in, out, or by- "Please, be careful everyone. I have a grenade. Just go on about your way. I have a grenade."

I'm sure that he called his wife and told her how he saved the entire hospital from an abrupt and firey death. It was nothing though, just doing his duty to humanity, just doing his job. Just a grenade. I and my fellows at the hanger went around the rest of the day holding up ordinary objects and yelling in terror- "Oh my gosh! I have a muffin! A muffin in my hands everyone! Look out for my muffin!" And wetting ourselves.

R and R

2008-07-24T01:47:00.004-05:00

I'm back!

My vacation was awesome. I can hardly describe how great it was to be back in Alaska for the last 20 days. I didnt get to do all the things I wanted, and I didnt get to see half the people I wanted, but still had such a wonderful time.

Before I left Bagram, and again in Kuwait, we were repeatedly warned that things will have changed while we've been gone. Expect things to be awkward for the first few days. These little pep talks were always at least an hour long and included a detailed list of activities that were prohibited. Ironicly, I always had the impression that they expected us to go out and do them all anyway. Such as- drinking and driving, going to jail, doing drugs, spousal abuse, murder, tackling and detaining american citizens of middle eastern ancestry. Personally I never had a desired to do any of these things. In fact, once I landed in Anchorage I didn't feel any akwardness at all. It was great.

I had such a good time. I could go on and on about all the fun stuff I got to do- but I won't. I will say that I got to eat great pizza and other wonderful foods, I went kayaking in Seward, 4-bying in Palmer, rafting in Denali, rollerbladed through the solar system, and hung out with some of the best people you would ever want to meet.

I'm not happy to be back in Afghanistan. But it's not so bad.

Letters Home

2008-06-26T23:14:00.002-05:00

There is an organization within the Army called the Family Readiness Group. Everyone calls it the F.R.G. because in the Army, everything must have an acronym. Must.

Anyway, its purpose is to provide support for and information to the families of service-members. Our company creates a newsletter once every month or two with pictures, stories, etc. and posts it on a F.R.G. website. One of the features of this newsletter is a section called- Letters Home. Someone here writes a letter to their spouse/family and it printed for everyone to read and go- awww. I think it's gay and hoped I would never have to do it. But.

I got asked it write one up last week and have it done by the end of the day. After politely declining the opportunity, I was ordered to write one. The next day I was even sternly reminded to write one. This is the problem I have with it. I dont care about the F.R.G. organization. I never read the newsletter and neither does my wife. I don't even know where to find it. So the whole thing is a sham. I dont know any of the people who are actually going to read it and I didn't feel like I had anything to say to them. My company had cancelled every flight I have had scheduled for the last 36 days. I only need one before I can start pulling flight duty. I have been stagnant for months, and it's been pissing me off. On top of not flying or working, I can't start college classes or get promoted until I am signed off.

After contemplating my situation for a few hours, I tried one last time to get out of the assignment. I tried to justify myself sighting some of the reasons listed above, but it was pointless. I was still stuck with it, and I only had a couple hours left to finish it.

So my initial letter was something like rant that became a very sarcastic verbal assault on the Army, Afghanistan, deployment, my flight company, and several individuals therin- followed by a slew of language that was quite beneath me. I felt much better afterwards and managed to barf up a decent letter after deleting attempt number one. Once I got that frustration out it was actually pretty easy. It is at least half bullcrap but it was positive and supportive and hopefully one of the poor pining saps who reads it will get some warm fuzzies, put down the twinkies, leave the sofa, and go to something productive.

And to anyone who thinks I'm appraoching this from a very shallow and uncaring direction- you're absolutely right. I never felt qualified to do it to begin with, remember?

And then.
Something really good happened the next day- my commander and my flight instructor got together and had a talk. After deciding it was totally pointless to try to get a training flight approved- ever, ever, ever- they fudged the paperwork and gave me the thumbs up to start pulling missions. After languishing here for a full 6 months, and 4 days before leaving the country for another month, I finally flew my first mission! And then another, and another, and another, and another. It's been so nice to actually be working and doing what I came here to do. It's been almost a year since I reenlisted to come to a medivac unit- and finally I am doing it!

I'll talk more about that stuff later. Today is my last day flying missions, tomorrow I am packing, and sunday I am leaving!

The Fathers Day Special

2008-06-15T04:48:00.005-05:00

Happy Fathers Day!

Fathers are so important. So influencial. So essential.
Mine is great. The best I could ever ask for. I've been thinking about some of the moments from my life that my dad has really come through for me, or taught me a valuable lesson, that I am really thankful for.

Like the time when I was 8 and he picked me up from the police station after I ran away in the middle of the night and started a fire in the woods while he and my mom were on a date. We had a good talk about choices and responsibility. The thing that stuck with me the most from that talk was that he didn't kill me- as I felt I deserved- And I knew that he really loved me.

When I was 11 he helped me get a paper route for the Daily Republic to teach me the value of work, self-reliance, and the feeling of accomplishment from recieving my very own paycheck. I was a terrible paperboy and he frequently had to help me do the route, or go over it to fix my mistakes. Putting the papers on the porch was just too boring after a while.

He was always involved in the Boy Scout program when I was, and taught me how to do manly things like camp, fish, make fires (big mistake), fix flat tires, first aid, how to build and fix stuff, and he set an example of service and preparedness and all those other scouty qualities.

He went with me my first time in court. I swore that I didn't know anything about that forest fire I started. I had to do it with my hand on the Holy Bible in front of a judge. I was only 10 and I knew if I told the truth that me and my whole family would go to jail. So I lied, the fire started itself. And prayed that God wouldnt just smite me straight to hell, and promised Him I'd never do it again. It was the most scared I have ever been, and Dad was there to support me.

My Dad carried me to emergency room when I tripped on some stairs and busted a hole through my lip. And again when I busted my head open on the elementry school rope that we weren't ever supposed to swing on. And patched me up over and over when I would come home mangled because I did something stupid.

My dad was the tallest, smartest, toughest, funniest, coolest person alive. He was Indiana Jones. He was He-man. He was a force for good.

He consoled me after I lost my first school fight.

He helped me do all my science projects and taught me how to do impossible things, like add fractions and spin a quarter with one hand.

He was my first home teaching companion and taught me the meaning of duty and magnifying your calling.

He taught me how to deal with dissappointment, how to stick things out, and how to keep my sense of humor. He taught me respect for women. He introduced me to spicy food, rock and roll, grilling, and martial arts movies- some of the greatest pleasures in life.

And that's not the half of it. The list goes on and on and on.

So thanks Dad, and thanks to all good dads and father figures everywhere. I love you. I appreciate you. I want to be like you. Happy Fathers Day!

And now, a quick vid for all you patient and supportive dads out there.